The Worst Trash Tournament Ever

[eliza.grames]

In a world dominated by well-written academic packets, two quizbowlers, driven by a desperate desire to provide the world with bad trash, endeavored to write The Worst Trash Tournament Ever. You thought answerlines could get no worse than "It's Britney, bitch!" and "Kim Kardashian's ass". Think again. Brought to you by the writers of Never Say Never comes a new trash tournament worse than ever before.

Featuring the worst answerlines of all time in categories ranging from reality TV to fashion faux pas and sports mishaps. The Worst Trash Tournament Ever premieres worldwide on May 10, 2014 at CAHOOTS and will be coming soon to a tournament site near you. Produced by Eliza Grames and Melanie Keating.

For access to this truly atrocious set, please contact [email protected].

[Cody]

The blockbuster event of the summer!

[grapesmoker]

I have apparently endorsed this product and/or service.

[Cheynem]

That's the opposite of endorse!

[Frater Taciturnus]

There must be something (besides oil) in the Richmond water, because much like Cody, I cannot wait for this.

[Auks Ran Ova]

yessssss

[grapesmoker]

That's the opposite of endorse!

I stand by my statement.

[eliza.grames]

Since we neglected almost all logistical details in the original announcement, here they are now.

Cost
Rather than charging a standard fee for playing the set, we're asking that you just donate whatever you think the set is worth. We're suggesting $5 because that we spent roughly 35-40 hours choosing answerlines and writing questions and because we're going to have nightmares after researching some of these truly horrifyingly bad answerlines.

Mirrors
If anyone wants to mirror the set, please email me at [email protected]. If you're hosting a mirror, please collect donations from players at your set and send us a check or something.

Carleton College - 5/10
HSNCT - 5/30 or 5/31 (as read by me in someone's hotel room, probably)

Format and Distribution
This tournament will now feature precisely one guest-written tossup by Robin Heinonen. We expect it will be bad. (Correction: It will now feature four tossups by Robin, all of which are terrible).

There will be 100 tossups with no bonuses because trash bonuses are terrible. Each packet has two answers from each category (see below) - one "worst" thing from 2013 or early 2014 and one that is the "worst" thing of all time. All answerlines must have appeared on some list of the "worst" that we found on various entertainment news sites or blogs.

TV shows and characters
Reality TV shows
Songs
Artists
Movies and characters
Actors and actresses
Celebrities
Fashion
Internet trends
Sports

[naan/steak-holding toll]

This sounds fantastic, despite the fact that I know almost nothing about most of these topics.

[Harpie's Feather Duster]

I want to play this very, very badly but won't be at HSNCT. Perhaps an IRC reading can eventually happen?

[dxdtdemon]

Is there any plan to put your previous tournament on Wastebin?

[blizzard]

I would absolutely positively love to play this at HSNCT!

[ahuff]

My teammate John and I are both interested in playing this if our coach will allow it.

[Auks Ran Ova]

A word of caution: the phrase "as read by me in someone's hotel room", in this case, generally implies "to a group of adults who may or may not be drinking", participation in which will not include high schoolers for a whole host of reasons. I, as presumably does Eliza, encourage high schoolers interested in playing this at HSNCT to figure their own thing out independently.

[blizzard]

A word of caution: the phrase "as read by me in someone's hotel room", in this case, generally implies "to a group of adults who may or may not be drinking", participation in which will not include high schoolers for a whole host of reasons. I, as presumably does Eliza, encourage high schoolers interested in playing this at HSNCT to figure their own thing out independently.

Yeah, sorry about that, I kind of skipped over the details after seeing a possible HSNCT mirror.

[ahuff]

I was sorta assuming that until Sam expressed interest. Well, now I know.

[Auks Ran Ova]

Not to continue speaking for Eliza here, but I'm sure she'd have no problem with high schoolers independently organizing a reading of this tournament at HSNCT!

[Cheynem]

It's a fun set.

[eliza.grames]

I want to play this very, very badly but won't be at HSNCT. Perhaps an IRC reading can eventually happen?

Mike Cheyne has already heard the set and probably wouldn't mind reading it in the IRC at some point.

Is there any plan to put your previous tournament on Wastebin?

I should probably get around to that… Thanks for the reminder.

Not to continue speaking for Eliza here, but I'm sure she'd have no problem with high schoolers independently organizing a reading of this tournament at HSNCT!

Rob is correct in saying that me reading it at HSNCT isn't really a formal mirror and was intended for staffers, not high school students. If anyone DOES want to organize a mirror of the set at HSNCT for high school students they should get in touch with me and we can figure out logistics.

[theMoMA]

Maybe hold off on posting to Wastebin before HSNCT.

[dxdtdemon]

Maybe hold off on posting to Wastebin before HSNCT.

Just to be clear, I was asking about putting the tournament they wrote last year on Wastebin, not this tournament, so that people who don't know the writers could see examples of their previous work.

[Cheynem]

I don't know if the results from the main site were ever posted.

Carsten Gehring took first, myself and Rob Carson tied for second. I forget who was next. A good time was had by all, except me when Carsten won those two buzzer races.

[Eddie]

Maybe hold off on posting to Wastebin before HSNCT.

Just to be clear, I was asking about putting the tournament they wrote last year on Wastebin, not this tournament, so that people who don't know the writers could see examples of their previous work.

You can find the Never Say Never packet at this page.

[eliza.grames]

I'm going to read this set at HSNCT on Saturday night somewhere in the hotel. I'll post the location and/or you can seek it out if you want to play. Please note this DOES NOT APPLY TO HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS because there will almost certainly be drinking involved. Sorry - you guys will have to read the set elsewhere.

[AKKOLADE]

I'm going to read this set at HSNCT on Saturday night somewhere in the hotel. I'll post the location and/or you can seek it out if you want to play. Please note this DOES NOT APPLY TO HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS because there will almost certainly be drinking involved. Sorry - you guys will have to read the set elsewhere.

If you forward it to me, I can pass it on to the appropriate people for playing Wodern Morld.

[eliza.grames]

Saul Hankin offered up the Michigan room, so we'll be in 916 starting around 10pm or so. If there's an excessive amount of interest, we can split into two rooms because most of the other Minnesota staffers have already heard the set and could read.