The Stingray Awards 2007

[BuzzerZen]

In honor of a full academic year of AHAN Jr, founded inauspiciously last August as "Steve Irwin being killed by a stingray," I hereby announce the First Annual Stingray Awards to honor humorous, hate-filled, idiotic, and trainwrecked threads across the boards from the past nine months. The procedure will be as follows:

Nominations for the categories (below) should be e-mailed to me (ejs07 at sign hampshire period edu) no later than Wednesday, May 9th. I will construct a ballot to be posted no later than Sunday, May May 13. Votes will be accepted by e-mail for one week following the posting of the ballot. Results will be tallied and posted as soon as I can after the ballots are in. All communications should include your hsquizbowl handle. Please link to the appropriate thread/post when nominating, if relevant.

If you would like to suggest additional categories, post below. The ones I like will be added to the list.

The Awards
Best Post
Best Thread
Best Poster
Most Stunning Trainwreck
Most Idiotic Statement
Most Scathing Personal Attack
Best Poll
Worst Offense to Quiz Bowl Aesthetics
Best Avatar (Please try to obtain the avatar image from the member in question before nominating.)

[rchschem]

The prize should be a wall of ham.

Eric

[quizbowllee]

I hate to nominate my own student, but I think that any of several posts by Riley Denton (xXWinter_FoXXx) on the Ham Scandal thread qualify as most idiotic post of the year.

I'm looking specifically at the ones that say he's going to "convert to Muslim" and the one that says that making fun of Christians should be a hate crime if throwing ham at Muslims is.

[Tegan]

Dumb Jacque's "Olmec is My Homeboy" avatar ....... IMO the class of the avatars (though I bow to David Reinstein's belly dancing avatar as a prop thrown at my teams after Masonic).

[AKKOLADE]

Dolemite is going to win everything and I will be sad

[Frater Taciturnus]

http://www.hsquizbowl.org/phpBB2/viewto ... sc&start=0

Best. Thread. Ever.


Best trainwreck is every attempt I've had at being funny. I've gone down in flames so much I have "Stop Drop, and Roll" down to a science.

[pray for elves]

For the avatar award.

[vcuEvan]

For the avatar award.

I second this.

[ecks]

http://www.hsquizbowl.org/phpBB2/viewto ... sc&start=0

Best. Thread. Ever.

Seconded.

[millionwaves]

You know, I'm not sure if you have autism or some other disorder that prevents you from reading people's feelings and opinions of you (which is easy to do even over the internet), so if you do, my apologies, I guess. Sucks to be you. Nevertheless, I'm going to say what I know a large number of people are already thinking, because I'm mean like that and stuff:

Go away, Jason.

Seriously, get lost. No one wants you and your inflated ego around. You made this thread not to discuss results but to talk about how awesome you are for scoring 100 PPG in a format in which even my grandmother who speaks five words of English total would convert 30 PPG just by giving "borscht" as the answer to every question. Oh, you scored a lot of points at ACF Fall? Well, congratufuckinglations, we're all so damn proud of you we could just weep. That doesn't make you the third best player behind Seth and Andrew (you are so far below their level that it would be inconceivable to even place your name in the same sentence with theirs when discussing quizbowl); it just makes you a somewhat-competent player who knows the answer to lots of stock giveaways, and who plays with much weaker teammates.

Your self-aggrandizement is pathetic; I take it as prima facie evidence that you will never be any good at quizbowl, because I know that actually good players don't spend their time bragging about it on message boards. I'm sad that NAQT chose to hire you as a writer, but I'm pretty sure no one from NAQT is going to post in your defense when you get (rightly) savaged for being an annoying jerk (and hey, I should know something about spotting annoying jerks, although I guess I have the redeeming characteristic of never having been the target of a revolt by my own teammates).

Quit trying to be "cool" and "with it," because no one likes you, and no one cares about your stupid exploits. You are the object of derision in every conversation that ever arises about who the worst person in quizbowl history is. Everyone laughs at you and thinks you are a colossal tool. Go away and don't come back until you understand how to behave in social settings and stop being such an annoying dick.

I hope that was sufficiently harsh to penetrate what must surely be the dense web of denial and self-puffery which surrounds you everywhere you go. If not, let me know, and I'll try harder.

edit: I am happy that NAQT has not actually hired Jason as a writer. Score one for standards.
_________________
Size of object thrown is proportional to deficit. Like your mom.

From the same thread above, I'll nominate this one for Best Personal Attack. I can still feel the heat from the flames...

[ecks]

From the same thread above, I'll nominate this one for Best Personal Attack. I can still feel the heat from the flames...

I think my favorite part of that post is the 'edit' at the bottom, as if the rest of the post weren't biting enough.

[Stained Diviner]

Taco Bell Soap

[DumbJaques]

Bryce Avery for massive tool of the year

[MahoningQuizBowler]

Bryce Avery for massive tool of the year

Seconded. With authori-tay.

[Irreligion in Bangladesh]

Attn: Dren and anyone else recycling bullshit about GOOD QUESTIONS ARE IMPOSSIBLE and calling me a racist for god knows what reason. I have a specific, constructive suggestion about how you can make quizbowl better: kill yourself. Borrow some bleach from a neighbor (it's the stuff non-trash players use to clean their clothes once in a while, you may have heard of it) and drink it. Take the $300 replica of the sword from Inuyasha off the wall rack you've installed under your Boondock Saints poster and fall on it. Take your copy of the Foosball Encyclopedia and have someone throw it on your head from a great height. Please don't limit yourself to my demanding and close-minded ideas of what good suicide should be--by all means, show us how creative the southeast can be, and come up with a means of killing yourself that's even more bizarre than your tossup answer selection.

You people are such whiny goddamn children. You brush off any criticism of something as ultimately inconsequential as quizbowl tournaments, no matter how minor, how justified, or how couched in praise that criticism is, as a personal attack, and then you turn around and call people racists? Are you fucking high? How many sitcoms do you have to watch per day before you get dumb enough to think that this is acceptable behavior for an adult human being?

Most Scathing Personal Attack right here. Jason Mueller bashing, as good as it may be, is simply too easy to compare to this.

[Frater Taciturnus]

Attn: Dren and anyone else recycling bullshit about GOOD QUESTIONS ARE IMPOSSIBLE and calling me a racist for god knows what reason. I have a specific, constructive suggestion about how you can make quizbowl better: kill yourself. Borrow some bleach from a neighbor (it's the stuff non-trash players use to clean their clothes once in a while, you may have heard of it) and drink it. Take the $300 replica of the sword from Inuyasha off the wall rack you've installed under your Boondock Saints poster and fall on it. Take your copy of the Foosball Encyclopedia and have someone throw it on your head from a great height. Please don't limit yourself to my demanding and close-minded ideas of what good suicide should be--by all means, show us how creative the southeast can be, and come up with a means of killing yourself that's even more bizarre than your tossup answer selection.

You people are such whiny goddamn children. You brush off any criticism of something as ultimately inconsequential as quizbowl tournaments, no matter how minor, how justified, or how couched in praise that criticism is, as a personal attack, and then you turn around and call people racists? Are you fucking high? How many sitcoms do you have to watch per day before you get dumb enough to think that this is acceptable behavior for an adult human being?

Most Scathing Personal Attack right here. Jason Mueller bashing, as good as it may be, is simply too easy to compare to this.

can we get a link to this inferno?

[Stained Diviner]

Google

[rchschem]

How aboutmost pointless thread?

[evilmonkey]

How aboutmost pointless thread?

Just because its not important doesn't mean its not pointless. It would be nice to be able to unify whether we play "Quiz Bowl" or "quizbowl".

[rchschem]

It would be nice to be able to unify whether we play "Quiz Bowl" or "quizbowl".

I stand corrected.

Eric

[Wall of Ham]

How aboutmost pointless thread?

Seconded.

[evilmonkey]

If you want to go pointless, go with one of the threads in the AHAN JR. These are all pointless, and yet nobody has a problem with them. I love the random, pointless threads.

[pray for elves]

Maybe that category should be clarified to "most pointless non-AHAN Jr. thread", or maybe "most pointless serious thread".

[Captain Sinico]

Just because its not important doesn't mean its not pointless.

Yes, good point. That quiz-bowl thread is both unimportant and pointless at the same time.

MaS

[evilmonkey]

Maybe that category should be clarified to "most pointless non-AHAN Jr. thread", or maybe "most pointless serious thread".

I'd go for that. However, I am sure there are others.

Just because its not important doesn't mean its not pointless.

Yes, good point. That quiz-bowl thread is both unimportant and pointless at the same time.

MaS

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is. Obviously someone thought that it was interesting enough to bring it up. The fact that people respond to it means that people also believe that it is an interesting point. If you read the thread, there are people who actually state reasons for why they believe that what we do should be written a certain way. Not all people state that their preference is the way it should be, and that there should be no further discussion.

[rchschem]

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is.

You're right. I nominate this thread.

Or will that create a self-referential feedback loop that will destroy the board?

Eric

[evilmonkey]

For the category of pointless thread not in AHAN Jr., Sports, or Off Topic:

Economics of Studying Quiz Bowl Literature

This first post is pretty pointless, but i think other people managed to salvage the thread.

[Wall of Ham]

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is.

You're right. I nominate this thread.

Or will that create a self-referential feedback loop that will destroy the board?

Eric

Seconded.

Arguing about the pointlessness of a pointless thread is in and of itself far more pointless, therefore the pointlessness of this pointlessness thread is greater than the pointlessness of the original pointless thread. However, this pointless thread is in AHAN, where pointless things can afford to be pointless as per see the definition of pointlessness, and seeing as the pointlessness level of this forum is as high as it is pointless, and seeing as how this post is pointless in the fact that no one will bother reading so many pointlessnesses just for me to get to the point which is pointless, therefore everyone that posts in AHAN are nihilists and should be shot.

Q.E.D.

[evilmonkey]

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is.

You're right. I nominate this thread.

Or will that create a self-referential feedback loop that will destroy the board?

Eric

Seconded.

Arguing about the pointlessness of a pointless thread is in and of itself far more pointless, therefore the pointlessness of this pointlessness thread is greater than the pointlessness of the original pointless thread. However, this pointless thread is in AHAN, where pointless things can afford to be pointless as per see the definition of pointlessness, and seeing as the pointlessness level of this forum is as high as it is pointless, and seeing as how this post is pointless in the fact that no one will bother reading so many pointlessnesses just for me to get to the point which is pointless, therefore everyone that posts in AHAN are nihilists and should be shot.

Q.E.D.

So what you're saying is that for a legitimate discussion to take place about the pointlessness of threads, it cannot take place in AHAN Jr.? I don't think that being in AHAN Jr. necessarily makes a post pointless. However, a high frequency of posts contained in AHAN Jr. are pointless, thus creating the perception that all posts in AHAN Jr. are pointless, when in fact there may be a morsel or two of legitimate, pointed discussion.

Edit: Changed the word "with" to "in"

[Wall of Ham]

Back on topic:

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is.

You're right. I nominate this thread.

Or will that create a self-referential feedback loop that will destroy the board?

Eric

Seconded.

Arguing about the pointlessness of a pointless thread is in and of itself far more pointless, therefore the pointlessness of this pointlessness thread is greater than the pointlessness of the original pointless thread. However, this pointless thread is in AHAN, where pointless things can afford to be pointless as per see the definition of pointlessness, and seeing as the pointlessness level of this forum is as high as it is pointless, and seeing as how this post is pointless in the fact that no one will bother reading so many pointlessnesses just for me to get to the point which is pointless, therefore everyone that posts in AHAN are nihilists and should be shot.

Q.E.D.

I nominate this post for most pointless, most idiotic statement, worst trainwreck, best post, and of course best poster.

Second anybody? Anybody? Anybody at all?

[Wall of Ham]

Have you ever noticed that in an angry online debate, the time between posts gets exponentially shorter?

I should be studying for APs... but I'm not. I need help.

[Frater Taciturnus]

Have you ever noticed that in an angry online debate, the time between posts gets exponentially shorter?

I should be studying for APs... but I'm not. I need help.

I've noticed that too. Yeah, trying to do well on the AP is generally a good idea.

EDIT: Wow, that WAS a quick response. Pretty soon people will be responding to posts that technically haven't happened yet!

[evilmonkey]

Have you ever noticed that in an angry online debate, the time between posts gets exponentially shorter?

I should be studying for APs... but I'm not. I need help.

I say we stop this senselessness. And go read threads about Jason Mueller. I never stopped laughing while reading them.

[Frater Taciturnus]

Have you ever noticed that in an angry online debate, the time between posts gets exponentially shorter?

I should be studying for APs... but I'm not. I need help.

I say we stop this senselessness. And go read threads about Jason Mueller. I never stopped laughing while reading them.

meh, its about the same, except new Mueller threads only come about so often.

[jonpin]

Have you ever noticed that in an angry online debate, the time between posts gets exponentially shorter?

I should be studying for APs... but I'm not. I need help.

I say we stop this senselessness. And go read threads about Jason Mueller. I never stopped laughing while reading them.

meh, its about the same, except new Mueller threads only come about so often.

Yes, and strangely he hasn't posted since CBI nationals. Strange...

[Captain Sinico]

For the category of pointless thread not in AHAN Jr., Sports, or Off Topic:

Economics of Studying Quiz Bowl Literature

This first post is pretty pointless, but i think other people managed to salvage the thread.

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is. Obviously someone thought that it was interesting enough to bring it up. The fact that people respond to it means that people also believe that it is an interesting point. If you read the thread, there are people who actually state reasons for why they believe that how we study should be a certain way. Not all people state that their preference is the way it should be, and that there should be no further discussion.

MaS

[evilmonkey]

For the category of pointless thread not in AHAN Jr., Sports, or Off Topic:

Economics of Studying Quiz Bowl Literature

This first post is pretty pointless, but i think other people managed to salvage the thread.

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is.

And I never said that other people won't find a point in it. I'm just stating my opinion that it was pointless. People are entitled to opinions. People are not entitled to declare there opinion as THE correct opinion.

edit: changed first sentence of my post. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense.

[Stained Diviner]

I declare that you used the wrong spelling of 'their', and that is THE correct opinion.

[evilmonkey]

I declare that you used the wrong spelling of 'their', and that is THE correct opinion.

So I did. I apologize. No excuses.

[ecks]

I declare that you used the wrong spelling of 'their', and that is THE correct opinion.

So I did. I apologize. No excuses.

That's when you edit your post and make HIM look like the fool, if he hasn't quoted your post :P

[Howard]

Just because its not important doesn't mean its not pointless.

Yes, good point. That quiz-bowl thread is both unimportant and pointless at the same time.

MaS

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is. Obviously someone thought that it was interesting enough to bring it up. The fact that people respond to it means that people also believe that it is an interesting point. If you read the thread, there are people who actually state reasons for why they believe that what we do should be written a certain way. Not all people state that their preference is the way it should be, and that there should be no further discussion.

I think you've missed the point of Sorice's post. Reread your original sentence. You've claimed that something can be both unimportant and pointless at the same time. Who'd have thought?

[evilmonkey]

I declare that you used the wrong spelling of 'their', and that is THE correct opinion.

So I did. I apologize. No excuses.

That's when you edit your post and make HIM look like the fool, if he hasn't quoted your post :P

But that wouldn't be me.

[evilmonkey]

Just because its not important doesn't mean its not pointless.

Yes, good point. That quiz-bowl thread is both unimportant and pointless at the same time.

MaS

Just because you deem it pointless does not mean it is. Obviously someone thought that it was interesting enough to bring it up. The fact that people respond to it means that people also believe that it is an interesting point. If you read the thread, there are people who actually state reasons for why they believe that what we do should be written a certain way. Not all people state that their preference is the way it should be, and that there should be no further discussion.

I think you've missed the point of Sorice's post. Reread your original sentence. You've claimed that something can be both unimportant and pointless at the same time. Who'd have thought?

Wow. I feel stupid. What I meant to say, of course, was that just because something is unimportant doesn't mean it is pointless. And I hereby nominate my original post for "Most idiotic post"

[DumbJaques]

I nominate this thread for "people who can neither express nor recognize humor of the internets" award.

EDIT: Also, I nominate myself for tool of the year.

[evilmonkey]

I nominate this thread for "people who can neither express nor recognize humor of the internets" award.

But... a thread isn't a person. Me confused.

And sorry for my ignorance - what do you mean "the internets"?

[AKKOLADE]

a series of tubes

[Frater Taciturnus]

a series of tubes

QUIET, SEN. STEPHENS!

[sabine01]

EDIT: Also, I nominate myself for tool of the year.

Will support that nomination. Not that that support's worth much.

[cvdwightw]

a series of tubes

QUIET, SEN. STEPHENS!

Clearly, the memo about using correct spelling got held up on one of those tubes.

[Frater Taciturnus]

a series of tubes

QUIET, SEN. STEPHENS!

Clearly, the memo about using correct spelling got held up on one of those tubes.

I apolojize four my atrhosious speling. I realy shold lurn too spel.