Identify the bad movie quote OR abuse the previous user

BuzzerZen · Post by **BuzzerZen** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 6:54 pm

THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO PLAY!!!!!!

Either identify the terrible film that is the source of the previously posted quote, OR verbally abuse the previous poster, but ONLY if you know their real name. You MUST post a new quote either way.

First quote: "Enhance your calm."

dtaylor4 · Post by **dtaylor4** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 7:09 pm

Demolition Man, Dr. Raymond Cocteau (played by Nigel Hawthorne), the leader of San Angeles.

NEW QUOTE:

Come on, man. Guns, murderers and crooked cops? I was made for this, bro.

Post by **DumbJaques** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 8:07 pm

Regrettably, from 2 Fast 2 Furious, as uttered by the venerable Tyrese Gibson.

NEW QUOTE:

"The gun is good. The penis is evil!"

EDIT: Because of a wonderful filter that for someone reason blocks p-nis but allows several slang words for it, please don't google for the movie that thinks the Martian is evil.

Leo Wolpert · Post by **Leo Wolpert** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:02 pm

I don't recognize the quote, but I suspect you are Chris Ray. Without further ado...

EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING BASTARD.

Now that I've had my fun, here's my quote.

"Pain don't hurt."

Mr. Kwalter · Post by **Mr. Kwalter** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:19 pm

Give me a fucking break CHRIS FRANKEL, you midget-loving poor excuse for a sexual deviant, that's Road House.

NEW QUOTE:

"A cautious young fellow named Lodge
Had seat belts installed in his Dodge.
When his date was strapped in
He committed a sin
Without even leaving the garage."

Post by **theMoMA** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:20 pm

Google tells me that it's from A Boy and His Dog, and you are a WORTHLESS SHELL OF A HUMAN BEING known as Eric Kwartler.

"I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."

edit: updated for being too late

dtaylor4 · Post by **dtaylor4** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 10:59 pm

Oh, how I remeber watching Pokemon: The First Movie.

I don't know your name and am too lazy to find it, so I can't talk shit, sadly enough.

NEW QUOTE:

"I'm in charge of this classroom. I'm the warrior chief, the merciless god who stirs anything in its path. You fuck with me, and you will suffer my wrath."

Lapego1 · Post by **Lapego1** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:40 am

Hey, come now, The Substitute wasn't that bad with all the shooting and fighting and drugs and all, especially when Tom Berenger just like pulls some throwing stars out of his stash somewhere.

NEW QUOTE:

"Every lie is another brick in the pathway to hell."

Gonzagapuma1 · Post by **Gonzagapuma1** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:39 am

Don't test me on my DICK knowledge guy from Gov.

NEW QUOTE:

"Traffic, traffic lookin' fo my chapstick, feelin' kinda car sick, there's a Ford Maverick."

Post by **DumbJaques** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:41 am

That's B-Rad G, played by Jaime Kennedy, from one of my top 10 favorite awful movies, Malibu's most wanted. Alternatively, it's Matt Morrison, on tuesdays.

Mr. Kwalter · Post by **Mr. Kwalter** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:21 am

Fuck off you have to provide a new quote, Chris Ray.

mlaird · Post by **mlaird** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:31 am

For the record, both Chris Ray and Eric Kwartler blow mad-style chunks, and here's a quote.

"'What is best in life?'
'To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of the women.'"

Jeremy Gibbs Lemma · Post by **Jeremy Gibbs Lemma** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:06 am

He with the long sword

"There's nothing I can do for you furniture - I got nothing to give."

Irreligion in Bangladesh · Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:11 am

Kent Buxton's stupid enough to keep his name in his signature for the "conceal your name" thread.

"I'm gonna keep the Coke and the fries but I'm gonna send this burger back. And if you put any mayonnaise on it, I'm gonna come over to your house, I'll chop your legs off, set fire to your house, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out the door."

solonqb · Post by **solonqb** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:12 pm

I have no idea about Fischer's but Chris Ray's is from the delectable 1973 Sean Connery vehicle Zardoz, which everyone here should see.

Here's my contribution to this trainwreck of a thread.

"We must exceed the speed of space"

Post by **DumbJaques** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:37 pm

I think I saw a foreign language film once (Armenian/Turkish?) that had a line along the lines of "Space speed we must beyond go," but I'm not sure that's what you even mean. So, to cover my bases,

You suck Noah and your female robot projects will always be doomed to failure

NEW QUOTE:
"Watch out for officers, son. It's there job to get you killed."

Also, I'd like to remind everyone that the thread called for terrible movies. Using one of the most famous movie quotes of all time (which I'm pretty sure was a tossup answer on one set I read on stanford) and pulling from a movie like Conan or The Substitute when both those movies have several awful sequels should be discouraged. Surely we all have worse taste than that, and should display it accordingly.

Frater Taciturnus · Post by **Frater Taciturnus** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:27 pm

Chris ray is so damn annoying it makes me want to haul off and kill Captain America. When he argues with Jason Mueller, I cant tell which is more obnoxious!

All right. This movie is one of the worst ever. If you have seen this movie I take pity on your immortal soul.

"I am Torgo. I take care of the place while the Master is away."

Matt Weiner · Post by **Matt Weiner** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:30 pm

dsfcaptains2005 wrote:"I am Torgo. I take care of the place while the Master is away."

Manos, the Hands of Fate (you feeb!)

Here's one of the goofiest lines from a weak movie:

"TAKE HIM BEFORE THE QUASI-DEADS"

Frater Taciturnus · Post by **Frater Taciturnus** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:45 pm

The chronic-les of Riddick.

"Prepare for a bitter harvest; winter has come at last!"

Jeremy Gibbs Paradox · Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:58 pm

dsfcaptains2005 wrote:The chronic-les of Riddick.

"Prepare for a bitter harvest; winter has come at last!"

That's from Batman & Robin, aka the film where George Clooney claims to have played Batman as gay. But there's no way he was acting any gayer than whoever posted that quote.

"It must be weird, not having anybody cum on you."

dtaylor4 · Post by **dtaylor4** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:33 pm

Showgirls 2: Los Angeles starring Sean Phillips as Nomi Malone.

"Your bride is over 3,000 years old."
"She told me she was 19!"

Jeremy Gibbs Paradox · Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:33 pm

Kull the Conqueror. Though Donald Taylor has some familiarity with that phrase when you replace 3000 with 25 and 19 with 13 and then reverse the order of the ages.

"I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango."

Gonzagapuma1 · Post by **Gonzagapuma1** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:40 pm

TERRIBLE MOVIE so nice going with the theme. oh its Battlefield Earth

NEW QUOTE:

"Jesus! Where did she get the shoes? "Whores for less"?"

Tegan · Post by **Tegan** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 11:06 pm

Gonzagapuma1 wrote:NEW QUOTE:

"Jesus! Where did she get the shoes? "Whores for less"?"

...you make my heart sing .......you make EV-rything grovay .....

"The word 'impossible,' Mr. Booth, is only found in the dictionary of fools."

jonpin · Post by **jonpin** » Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:52 am

You're far past the event horizon and into The Black Hole, my good man.

Next: "This programmer is being BEATEN TO DEATH!!"

Jeremy Gibbs Paradox · Sat Mar 10, 2007 1:44 pm

Jon Pinyan, I have no idea what that is. Way to bring the game to a crashing halt with your words, much like when you speak in your relationships with women.

Next up, one of my all time favorites:
"Watch out, he's got a candy cane!"

fool_by_compulsion · Post by **fool_by_compulsion** » Sat Mar 10, 2007 10:06 pm

Santa With Muscles. Hulk Hogan is Santa Claus. Not a promising premise, some would say. And some would be right.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Larry. But one thing's sure- Inspector Clay's dead. Murdered. And somebody's responsible!"

A classic of the modern American cinema.

Tegan · Post by **Tegan** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:31 am

fool_by_compulsion wrote: "Your guess is as good as mine, Larry. But one thing's sure- Inspector Clay's dead. Murdered. And somebody's responsible!"

When Plans 1-8 just simply won't work ...... just resurrect the dead, and take over the world ......the word "classic" simply pails beneath Plan Nine From Outer Space

Next selection:

"If bachlorette number one isn't out here in half a tick I'm gonna ice bachlorette number two, got it?"

Matt Bardoe · Post by **Matt Bardoe** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:56 am

It must be nighttime. A night of the comet...

Hard to believe that the next one comes from an awful movie with an Academy Award winning actress.

"I wish I had courage like you.
I wish I had chocolate bar with almonds."

My name is....

Gonzagapuma1 · Post by **Gonzagapuma1** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:06 pm

Since
A) no one knows that quote and
B) im pretty sure its two quotes

heres a new quote:

since this quote maybe in a few movies i'll give you the character: Major McCoy: "Sleep tight sucker."

Post by **DumbJaques** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:16 pm

Your quote is from The Delta Force. Also, the previous one was The Next Karate Kid, which is a lot like Million Dollar Baby in that a creepy old guy teaches Hillary Swank to fight, and that you're left with the idea that mercy killing should be made completely legal.

NEW QUOTE:
"That's what you get, dumbass!"

Ethnic history of the Vilnius region · Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:04 pm

So, it's a quote from the Ice Cube vehicle Ghosts of Mars.

New Quote: Sweet Jesus! We kidnapped a turd!

Matt Weiner · Post by **Matt Weiner** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:15 pm

The Shock Master wrote:New Quote: Sweet Jesus! We kidnapped a turd!

Without Googling I can identify this as the underwhelming Screwed, which was far less funny than a movie starring Norm MacDonald, Dave Chappelle, and Sarah Silverman ought to have been. However it is the source for no less than three Loveline drops.

"I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!"

nobthehobbit · Post by **nobthehobbit** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:20 am

Matt Weiner makes me ashamed to be human. Also, he's stupid enough to keep his name in his screen name for this thread.

"If you're so well-versed in the classics, then how come you don't know 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'?"

Gonzagapuma1 · Post by **Gonzagapuma1** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 1:43 am

"I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!"[/quote]

That would have to be from one of my favorite movies of all time which is actually good: Hard to Kill

New Quote:

(After kicking the guy into liquid nitrogen or something like that)" I guess I should have told him to freeze."

The Toad to Wigan Pier · Tue Mar 13, 2007 7:15 am

nobthehobbit wrote:Matt Weiner makes me ashamed to be human. Also, he's stupid enough to keep his name in his screen name for this thread.

"If you're so well-versed in the classics, then how come you don't know 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'?"

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Tegan · Post by **Tegan** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 9:17 am

Gonzagapuma1 wrote:"New Quote:

(After kicking the guy into liquid nitrogen or something like that)" I guess I should have told him to freeze."

Very tricky! This sounds very Schwarzenggerian, and given his role as Freeze in the dreadfully awful "Batman and Robin", that would be the go to....

....but .....in this case, you need to go to a wannabe Schwarzenegger ....someone from the low countries, perhaps.

I go with Timecop.

Next:"If I were creating the world I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, eight o'clock, Day One!"

rchschem · Post by **rchschem** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:14 pm

Tegan wrote:
Gonzagapuma1 wrote:"

Next:"If I were creating the world I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, eight o'clock, Day One!"

Apparently the fabric of the universe IS far from perfect. From Time Cop to Time Bandits.

Next: "I've been ionized, but I'm okay now."

Eric

ecks · Post by **ecks** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:06 pm

rchschem wrote:Next: "I've been ionized, but I'm okay now."

Eric

That's from The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

I will give a million internets to anyone who can correctly guess this (translated) line from this 1960s-era movie:

"We will go down to the sea together... naked."

(no, it's not a porno - it's horror)

Jeremy Gibbs Paradox · Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:18 pm

ecks wrote:
rchschem wrote:Next: "I've been ionized, but I'm okay now."

Eric
That's from The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

I will give a million internets to anyone who can correctly guess this (translated) line from this 1960s-era movie:

"We will go down to the sea together... naked."

(no, it's not a porno - it's horror)

Way to bring the thread to a crashing halt Christopher Stone, you sperm sucking whore!

"As for you, Charlie. After the tragic death of your father, I married your mother promising her I would raise you as my own. *You* chose not to take the Maggio name. I did not complain. And when you wanted to go to Beauty School, as boys who lose their fathers early in life often do, I did not snivel at interventions, did I?"

Tegan · Post by **Tegan** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:45 pm

allythin wrote:"As for you, Charlie. After the tragic death of your father, I married your mother promising her I would raise you as my own. *You* chose not to take the Maggio name. I did not complain. And when you wanted to go to Beauty School, as boys who lose their fathers early in life often do, I did not snivel at interventions, did I?"

Have we reached so low that we need to bring in Kangaroo Jack???

Since we have sank that low, a little lower won't hurt too much:

"Like your mother said, life's not always black and white. Sometimes you just never know."

Films like this make me wish for censorship.....

Jeremy Gibbs Paradox · Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:01 pm

Mmmm, "Gigli." That's....yeah too easy.

This is an old favorite of mine from watching it on HBO every summer when I was in elementary school: "I'm Jo-Jo the ice cream clown, we'll give you a stick, you'll give it a lick. And it'll tickle you all the way down. Ice cream, ice cream, we brought our goodies here to you! A tasty treat for while you screw! Let's take a break! Cool off those hot lips with our frozen fruity bars! Icy-wicy, fudgy-wudgy bars. And everyone's frozen delight, the lick a stick!"

No Sollositing On Premise · Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:07 pm

allythin wrote:Mmmm, "Gigli." That's....yeah too easy.

This is an old favorite of mine from watching it on HBO every summer when I was in elementary school: "I'm Jo-Jo the ice cream clown, we'll give you a stick, you'll give it a lick. And it'll tickle you all the way down. Ice cream, ice cream, we brought our goodies here to you! A tasty treat for while you screw! Let's take a break! Cool off those hot lips with our frozen fruity bars! Icy-wicy, fudgy-wudgy bars. And everyone's frozen delight, the lick a stick!"

Killer Klowns from Outer Space, right? That's one scene that isn't going to leave my mind anytime soon.

One of my favorite so-bad-it's-awesome movies, starring an Oscar nominee no less, has this classic line:

"Ladies, you're so fine I want to pour milk over you and make you a part of my complete breakfast."

Jeremy Gibbs Paradox · Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:18 pm

Ah The Big Hit...aka that movie w/ Antonio Sabato Jr's butt. *Takes a moment to drool before digging up a quote*

You want to see really bad from future Oscar nominees, scratch that, WINNERS: "My food is created to nourish the soul, okay? I haven't used pork since Thelma was on Good Times about to marry Ibe, the African prince and I said, "No, no, no, I'm waiting on my African prince to be my baby's daddy, so I stopped use pork,because I started using chicken broth, cause I couldn't be doin that! So I don't know what you talking about." See what I cook is much healthier than that *bird* stuff Alfred is cookin' for him!"

Recently my store got this film as part of a Black History Month display. Which is....screw it, I'm just going to think about Antonio again...*siiigh*

BobGHHS · Post by **BobGHHS** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:03 pm

I think that is like B.A.P.S.... ewww

I picked this one up in the bargain bin at borders for like $1.50:

"And as for Hercules, I want him taken alive. He'll pay dearly for the trouble he's caused me."

Jeremy Gibbs Paradox · Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:20 pm

Hercules Against the Moon Men

or "Maciste e la regina di Samar"

This one I think is one of the most awesome failures of all-time: "Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes."

sabine01 · Post by **sabine01** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 3:18 pm

A musical from the *wonderful* class of 1980: "Can't Stop the Music"

New Quote: "Oh my God, what a horrible photograph. My first wanted poster and I look just awful. "

Post by **Susan** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 5:41 pm

sabine01 wrote:New Quote: "Oh my God, what a horrible photograph. My first wanted poster and I look just awful. "

Pink Flamingos.

New quote: The school virgin's home alone with her pussy, and I'm taking her to see Dawson. God, I've become a total fag.

dtaylor4 · Post by **dtaylor4** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 11:24 pm

A movie that is one step away from being softcore porn, Cruel Intentions 2.

New quote:

I knew you'd say that.

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Wed Mar 28, 2007 11:41 pm

DaGeneral wrote:I knew you'd say that.

That quote is probably from at least twenty bad movies Donald, so why don't you just go post elsewhere about how much an Illinois team sucks? HUH?

New quote:

"It's all right, it's okay! There's something to live for! Jesus told me so!"