2016 Hit Songs Survey

[jonpin]

Hello, it's-- wait, dammit, I used that intro last year. Sorry, I'll try again. When I'm Stressed Out from Work, I turn on the radio while I Ride back to My House and listen to the hits. And since we're getting Closer to the end of 2016, it's time once again to find out HSQB's Favorite Hit Song of the Year. Last year, "Uptown Funk" was the near-unquestioned favorite, and "Dear Future Husband" earned universal disdain. Let's find out what songs will join them this year.

For the fourth time, I'll be running a poll to find out what songs HSQB forum readers like the most and least. We've all got our individual tastes in music, but I'm looking for common ground, and that means just the hits. Specifically, Billboard's top 100 songs of the year*. Pick your top 10 and/or bottom 10 of those songs, and post in thread or PM me. It makes the exercise more fun if you have some sort of remarks as to why you've picked the songs you have.

Some rules:
1. Re: that * above. A decent number of the top 100 songs are disqualified from this year's poll. "The Hills", "679", "Can't Feel My Face", "Wildest Dreams", "Lean On", "Watch Me", and "See You Again" are obvious relics from 2015 that are lower on this year's list. "Hello", "Hotline Bling", and "Ex's and Oh's" moved up, but were on one of our top-10 lists last year and so I am declaring them ineligible. That leaves four holdover songs which you can vote for: "Stitches", "What Do You Mean?", "Here", and "Like I'm Gonna Lose You". So there are, all told, 90 songs to choose from.
2. You must RANK your picks. You can't just send me a list of 10 songs and say "I love all of these!"
3. You may choose only to make a list of good songs, only a list of bad songs, or both. Whichever list(s) you make, you must list between 5 and 10 songs. If you just say "DON'T LET ME DOWN IS MY NUMBER ONE AND THAT'S ALL I'M RANKING" you will be ignored.
4. There are two songs named "Sorry" on the chart this year. If voting for either, please be sure to indicate whether it's Bieber or Beyoncé. Likewise, please be aware that there is a difference between "Closer" (Chainsmokers f/ Halsey) and "Close" (N. Jonas f/ Tove Lo)

If you find yourself looking at the list and wondering "wait, what song is that?", you might find this video helpful.

Voting will remain open until at least December 31.

[Steeve Ho You Fat]

I'll do my standard thing of pointing out songs I don't like, songs I have thoughts on, and songs I like.

100: Heathens: All my friends want you to go away, quickly.
99: Unsteady: I'm a lot ready to never hear this song again
98: Ride: Go-ooooooohhhhh oooooooaaaaah ooooooaaaaaaahhh away
97: Treat You Better: Bruh you think you could maybe be a little more patronizing if you tried?
96: My House: I can't imagine a song with this name that I'm less excited about playing at an actual house party.
95: H.O.L.Y.: I found a song almost as poorly constructed as Take Me to Church!
94: Lost Boy: What's the appeal of Peter Pan? Why would anyone want to be a powerless child with no autonomy forever? Also this song is just painfully boring and she's not a good enough singer to carry it alone. Sorry.
93: In the Night: In the night I sit nervously wondering if Abel is going to seduce my friends and then write a song about how terrible it was.
92: Stressed Out: This song encapsulates everything about c. 2004-2009 American suburbia. I guess it's cool if you're into that kind of thing. I'm not.
91: Pillowtalk: What is happening in this song? Nothing happens.
90: Me Myself and I: Could you make a more vanilla rap song just to get played on white-focused pop radio?
89: One Call Away: Can someone please explain to me the difference between Charlie Puth and Shawn Mendes?


70-ish: Closer: This song is too carefully designed for me (and everyone else) to love it. It's too exactly on the nose of a perfectly constructed hit pop song in 2016. Also, something about the closer/shoulder/rover/Boulder rhyme just bothers me.
40s: Work from Home: I want to take this opportunity to make fun of my co-worker who went to a Fifth Harmony concert and was really mad everyone else there was 12-14.
30s: Panda: Why does a dude from Brooklyn have broads in Atlanta? (But he could make a career just off those ad libs).


14: Same Old Love: One of my favorite things in pop music in the last year is Biebs and Selena Gomez reappearing from semi-exile and both become legitimate big name pop stars at basically the same time, especially as it's clear that JB is not over it at all.
13: Hymm for the Weekend: Only Beyonce could make me actually enjoy a Coldplay song, as she casually murders them on their own ish again.
12: Sit Still Look Pretty: Want to feel bad about yourself? Daya is younger than you (unless you're one of those high schoolers).
11: Starboy: I'm on record as being anti-Tesfaye, but I'm almost ready to forgive him for everything just for the "Star Trek roof in the wraith of Khan" line.
10: Send My Love: Rolling in the Deep is amazing, and I was disappointed this Adele album went away from that style for endless undifferentiated boring ballads. This song is the one bright spot - not only is it great, it's also evidence that Max Martin's magic works even on the best.
9: Don't Let Me Down: How did The Chainsmokers become vaguely popular as a novelty act three years ago, vanish, and then reappear churning out hit (and generally very good!) singles?
8: Hands to Myself: The best three seconds in pop music this year is clearly "I mean I could but why would I want to?".
7: 2 Phones: Thank you Kevin Gates for giving me a response every time someone asks me why I carry two phones that will never not be funny and for providing endless jokes about button starting the foreign and being gorgeous every time I get a rental Mazda or Toyota with push to start.
6: All The Way Up: Remy free and New York is back! Thank you Fat Joe and Remy for allowing me to say "ALL THE WAY UP" any time I can. "Where's the plates?" "ALL THE WAY UP on the top shelf." "Are you dying?" "My life is ALL THE WAY UP."
5: For Free: Ayyo Juan? Are the Drake vocals in yet? They are? We got another anthem!
4: On My Mind: Ellie Goulding impersonates Taylor Swift, complete with the infinitely catchy Max Martin drum line and an ALLEGED Ed Sheeran diss, and it's great.
3: Needed Me: Rih, you hadn't told us you were a savage, but you didn't have to.
2: Sorry: All praise the Queen (this is at best the fifth best song on the album though).
1: Gold: Airy pop vocals over a DJ Mustard knockoff Atlanta-style beat? A chorus that's the verse backwards? Just enough hints of a story to be a little creepier than a normal pop song but not enough to answer questions? This song is dope.


Also, the two best songs that should have been pop hits but inexplicably didn't make the list:
2: Superlove - Tinashe. Remember Tinashe, who put out a great album about two years ago, and did that song 2 On with Schoolboy Q? She's really good, and still out there making fun seductive pop/r&b songs.
1: Nothing is Promised - Mike WiLL Made It Feat. Rihanna. "I keep the duffle bag on me like Tity Boi and Dolla" "Got a turbo Porsche and I don't even move" I'm dying every time I hear it.

This is fun, more people should do it!

[Beevor Feevor]

I'll bite for this! Better than voting for albums that I've never heard of and never listened to, anyway. Only positives, since 2016's brought out enough negatives in the world as it is.

Roses, Closer, I Took a Pill in Ibiza

10. Cake by the Ocean (DNCE): Another dose of Joe is everything that my cringeworthy pre-teen self would have detested, but now that I'm legally an adult, it's not half bad! Great for falsetto belting and annoying the out of car passengers after a while.
9. Hotline Bling (Drake: Smooth vibe, dance moves that everyone can do (and meme), and a message that actually resonated with me. Drake's still got me hooked all these years later.
8. Into You (Ariana Grande): Sultry Ariana is definitely the best Ariana. This is more of a combined vote for all of Dangerous Woman, which I thought was phenomenal.
7. Starboy (The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk): Lyrics are borderline incomprehensible at parts, and I'm not sure if I'm as into cars as The Weeknd is, but Daft Punk really gets this track going for me. Would drop to ~50s without the electronic stuff interspersed, in my humble opinion.
6. Pillowtalk (Zayn): Seeing the One Directioners go off on their own has been truly interesting for me. The fact that this song is so intense and passionate doesn't really vibe with the whole idea of "pillow talk" as I understand it, but if he's talking about Pillowtalk during, I can dig it. Contrasting this with Niall Horan's "This Town" is eye-opening.
5. Love Yourself (Justin Bieber): So incredibly casual in its dismissing tone. The understated trumpets are also great to hum along to during the bridge. Overall, very restrained and perfect for an acoustic put-down section, unlike all his other songs this year.
4. Hands to Myself (Selena Gomez): The whole "neotenous girl acts sexy" thing is really popular this year I suppose! Ariana's definitely coming into her own with it, but I've still gotta give that prize to Selena for this song that always makes me juuuust a teensy bit uncomfortable when it comes on the radio. Spoken lines in songs are also killer (see Shake it Off), so my props go to "I mean I could but why would I want to". Good question!
3. Roses (The Chainsmokers ft. Rozes): Did it bother anyone else that the song was called "Roses" without having anything to do with roses and that the artist's name was also Rozes? That was basically all that bothered me about the song. Wonderful backing track, and the way she delivers the "we can waste a night with an old film" line and has it dovetail into the electronic stuff in the pre-chorus gets me every time.
2. I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Mike Posner [Seeb Remix]): I wouldn't give the original this much credit, but I'm assuming that we're talking about the Seeb remix here. Unlike other quasi-deep songs that have gotten remixed lately (Fast Car by Jonas Blue comes disgustingly to mind), I feel like Seeb's remix really adds a lot to his message. There's a perverse decadence that Mike is facing, and he's not sure how to get out of it. The irony of that song being turned into a club banger hit fascinates me, and also fails to diminish the quality of the song. Anything that lets me enjoy parties with even more irony than I already possess gets an A+ in my book.
1. Closer (The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey): Oh. My. God. Listening to this song for the first time was a revelation. It reminded me of Uptown Funk, in a way, with how it brought back an unbelievably catchy vibe that was tossed aside by pop far too soon. I'm literally singing the chorus right now as I'm writing this, I like it so much.

[Rococo A Go Go]

I decided to go ahead and do this even though we're several days into 2017. Here it is:

Best Songs
10. Sorry (Beyonce): This is a decent song that might not actually be the 10th best song on this list, but Lemonade was such a good album that it feels weird to not include something from it.
9. Hide Away (Daya): This was a 2015 song that I guess was still popular enough last winter to make this list, but for some reason it was really fun to listen to.
8. Same Old Love (Selena Gomez): Another song that was basically fun to listen to, and kind of highlights the good qualities of Selena’s music. I felt it was better than Hands to Myself.
7. What Do You Mean? (Justin Bieber): I did not think Bieber had it in him to make music that I actually liked, but this song is fun, and makes excellent use of its background music and effects.
6. One Dance (Drake ft. Wizkid and Kyla): This song has a great beat, features Drake singing in a way that I find appealing, and keeps me engaged in way that his past stuff hasn’t. The featured artists do great here too.
5. Closer (The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey): I like this song but I have a hard time expressing why. It feels unsettling, but in what I think may be an intentional way.
4. Don’t Let Me Down (The Chainsmokers ft. Daya): I’ll use this space to express my bemusement at the popularity of The Chainsmokers all of the sudden. But this was one of the best pop songs of the year.
3. Cheap Thrills (Sia ft. Sean Paul): This is a great, fun song that Sia obviously didn’t mean to sing herself. It would be higher if Sean Paul wasn’t making nonsensical noises in the background, and the album version is preferable for that reason.
2. Work from Home (Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla Sign): It looks like Fifth Harmony might be going their separate ways but this was probably their best song. “Sendin’ pic after picture/Imma get you fired” is one of the most fun lines of the year and I love it.
1. Side to Side (Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj): I like Nicki Minaj but haven’t really enjoyed Ariana Grande’s previous songs, but this song is such a great listen. I don’t know where Nicki buys her bicycles but it sounds like she really enjoys riding them!

Worst Songs
91. No (Meghan Trainor): This song is just a bad rip-off of people who actually had talent.
92. I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Mike Posner): I have hated everything Mike Posner has ever done. This song is actually an improvement for him! But I don’t care about his problems or whatever he’s singing about.
93. White Iverson (Post Malone): Post Malone is a rich white boy from Texas who played high school volleyball, then he got some braids and was like “I’m the white Iverson!” This song is more of a crime than anything A.I. ever did.
94. Unsteady (X Ambassadors): There is absolutely no content to this song, it’s just meaningless noise and like 6 sentences repeated. It’s the plain yogurt of pop music.
95. Gold (Kiiara): I didn’t think there was much lyrical content to this song either, save for vague allusions to some odd backstory. The various vocal and sound effects are what really ruin the song for me though.
96. Lost Boy (Ruth B): This a song without a lot of music or effects, which means the lyrics better be good. Unfortunately this is just a children’s song slowed down to make adult children feel sad.
97. 7 Years (Lukas Graham): I do not enjoy the voice of Lukas Danishlastname, and I also just don’t care about whatever he’s singing about. Just an annoying song.
98. Me Too (Meghan Trainor): I hope Meghan Trainor loses all her money in a Ponzi scheme.
99. H.O.L.Y (Florida Georgia Line): “Hey kids, you like getting high? Well let me tell you about the original high: Jesus Christ. Or perhaps my wife. They’re the same?” Who cares, this is just bad gospel music with a weird romantic subtext.
100. Don’t Mind (Kent Jones): This song is annoying nonsense. So if we take it seriously: Kent Jones wants to celebrate multiculturalism by letting everybody know he’ll screw any girl, no matter what language she speaks. Also he can’t face consequences for sleeping with another guy’s girl, because the other guy doesn’t speak English! But the lyrics don't need to be taken seriously since this song is just plain difficult to sit through.

[Auks Ran Ova]

If you extend this a bit I'll probably have a list to post too!

[Skepticism and Animal Feed]

My top 10:

1. Closer (Chainsmokers) – This is probably the best song of the year. It’s catchy, it represents “what music sounds like in 2016” well, and it captures our contemporary society well.

2. Can’t Stop the Feeling (Justin Timberlake) – This song dominated for a good stretch of time. Gotta respect it. No matter what girls in my middle school say, Backstreet Boys is and always will be better than NSYNC, but man what a solo career has Justin had. He's a national treasure.

3. Cake By the Ocean (DNCE) – I absolutely loved this song. Based on how many times I played it on Spotify, this was my top song of 2016. Just harmless upbeat pop in a year that seemed anything but harmless and upbeat.

4. Cheap Thrills (Sia) – I was not the biggest fan of this song but it’s another instance where I am respecting the invisible hand of the Top 40. It hung around on my local Top 40 station for a very long time.

5. Me, Myself & I (G-Eazy) – Why isn’t Bebe Rexha a successful solo artist yet? Is the music industry secretly dominated by Serbians who are blocking her? I'm also kind of mad the song title doesn't use the Oxford or serial comma.

6. Just Like Fire (P!nk) – Good to see P!nk doing stuff again, I really enjoyed that album she put out around 2012 with all those sad breakup songs on it. This one was more upbeat and I enjoyed it.

7. Same Old Love (Selena Gomez) – Man, hating Selena Gomez used to be SO COOL. Now she put out a “serious” album and liking Selena Gomez is SO COOL. For my money, this was the best Selena Gomez song of 2016. It was super catchy and I found myself humming it for days after hearing it on the radio.

8. Sit Still, Look Pretty (Daya) – I find the Daya phenomenon eye rolling (she’s some teenage girl who rebels by doing her homework?), but this was a really enjoyable song.

9. This is What You Came For (Calvin Harris) – I liked this song. It was catchy and powerful.

10. Sorry (Justin Bieber) – Man, hating Justin Bieber used to be SO COOL. Now he put out a “serious” album and liking Justin Bieber is SO COOL. Seriously, seeing people who used to ironically like “the Beebs” now unironically like him has been a highlight of 2016. For my money this was the best Justin Bieber song of the year.

Songs I didn't like:

I don't want to dwell on the bad songs long enough to make a list, so I will just single out two

1. Pillowtalk (Zayn) - Hearing this song for the first time was an important moment in my life. Now, I have a very peculiar and narrow taste in music, and I frequently hear songs I don't like. But I can conceive of those songs being liked by some other person whose tastes differ from mine. Pillowtalk was the first song I have ever heard where I could not conceive of anyone ever liking this song. It was just bad to me in so many ways. This is likely an important milestone in my aging process.

2. I took a pill in Ibiza (Michael Posner) - Boo hoo, look at all these problems wealthy EDM superstars have over a limping beat. I did however enjoy hearing a radio edit of this in the UAE where the song went "I took a plane to Ibiza / to show AVICI I was cool". Presumably even singing about taking the kinds of pills they take on Ibiza is punishable by death in the UAE, and I enjoyed the mental image of somebody taking a plane to impress AVICI. I just had this image of Mike Posner taking a 7 hour flight to Ibiza and then turning immediately around, as if on a mileage run, except it's some kind of lame initiation ritual into an EDM secret society.

[Cody]

If you extend this a bit I'll probably have a list to post too!

Now that I know there's a X Ambassadors song on this list, I too may put in the time and generate a list! It's odd to see such a low turnout this year.

[jonpin]

Yeah, given the low turnout, I am unlikely to compile a cumulative list unless a bunch more entries show up. I will, however, post my own list, probably this weekend.

[Unicolored Jay]

A friend of mine challenged me to make such lists a week ago so I'm trying to come up with mine, and hopefully I'll be able to post it soon!

[Harpie's Feather Duster]

I will be posting a list for this thread, probably over the weekend as well.

[Cody]

Remarkably, I've heard quite a number of the top 100 this year! Alas, most of them do not interest me—I'm not sure I'll ever get another year as bounteous as 2014. I've only ranked songs I'm at least somewhat familiar with—I'm sure I'd hate Coldplay's songs, but I've never heard them so they get skipped.

TOP. TEN.
10. Sorry / Beyoncé. Truth be told, I'm a heretic: I don't like any of Beyoncé's albums before BEYONCÉ. I haven't listend to Lemonade, but this song is good enough (among all the trash) to sneak into my top 10.
9. Hide Away / Daya. I feel very mixed about the message of this song (really, Daya??), but the chorus is extremely catchy. Also, the lyrics video for this song uploaded by some rando has 4 million more hits than the video uploaded by Daya's VEVO.
8. Never Be Like You / Flume ft Kai.
7. Dangerous Woman / Ariana Grande. It's a little slow for my taste, and that costs it a spot in my top 3 (that's right: I'm a madman and would've put THREE Ariana Grande songs in my top 3!).
6. Starving / Haile Steinfeld & Grey ft Zedd. Is Zedd cool? Is Zedd not cool? I don't know, but this song is great. I could easily see Tove Lo singing this on Lady Wood, and that's a very good thing.
5. Gold / Kiiara. I have a very narrow taste in music and this is right up my alley.
4. Cheap Thrills / Sia ft Sean Paul. I'm pretty sure I could be convinced to like "All About That Bass" if Sia sang it (and re-did the music).
3. Don't Let Me Down / The Chainsmokers ft Daya. I'm convinced that The Chainsmokers are not that good, but Daya is amazing.
2. Into You / Ariana Grande. I don't have much to say about this song, it's very good.
1. Side to Side / Ariana Grande ft Nicki Minaj. SOTY, no doubt. This is a great song in every way. I'm a huge sucker for good rap parts in pop songs, and "If you wanna menage I got a tricycle" is certainly of the greatest lines in modern pop music.

HONORARY. MENTIONS.
On My Mind / Ellie Goulding. I love Lights and despised every other song on her debut album. Ex's and Oh's and On My Mind are slowly changing my mind about Ellie Goulding.
Send My Love & When We Were Young / Adele. Adele is great, but misses the cut.
Same Old Love / Selena Gomez. This song is really sick (or are we using ill, now?). The lack of variation (I'm so sick of "I'm so sick of that same old love"!) drops it significantly, though.

NOT. SO. HONORARY. MENTIONS.
Roses / The Chainsmokers ft ROZES. "Say you'll never let me go" (and to a lesser extent, "We could be beautiful") is one of the most perfectly instrumented & sung lines I've ever heard. The rest of the song is a huge letdown.
i hate u, i love u / gnash ft Olivia O'Brien. Fairly catchy, but torpedo'd by gnash's vocals and his inability to properly title a song. Far outclassed by "hate u love u", which just has Olivia O'Brien's vocals.
Hands to Myself / Selena Gomez. I have no idea how Selena pulls off a lyric like "You're metaphorical gin and juice", but she does. Too bad this song is not that good.
Let Me Love You / DJ Snake ft Justin Bieber. If the rest of this song sounded more like its chorus, it would unquestionably be in my top 10. Thankfully, the Biebs didn't force me to do that.

BOTTOM. TEN.
10. We Don't Talk Anymore / Charlie Puth ft Selena Gomez.
9. Treat You Better / Shawn Mendes. He probably can't.
8. Stitches / Shawn Mendes. Upon hearing the first lines of this song, I went "good".
7. No / Meghan Trainor. This song gets a bump from the bottom of the heap because the lyrics are actually pretty great, a rarity for Trainor songs.
6. Lost Boy / Ruth B. I alternate between enjoying and hating this song. Sucks to be "Lost Boy" because today is a hate day.
5. One Call Away / Charlie Puth. I think Superman has plenty on you. He's Superman!
4. Me Too / Meghan Trainor. I hate Meghan Trainor with the passion of ten thousand Suns, and I mean real Suns, not some random star.
3. Like I'm Gonna Lose You / Meghan Trainor ft John Legend. A twofer for the hate train!
2. White Iverson / Post Malone. This song is just unfathomably bad, bad enough to beat out Meghan Trainor's pile of crap.
1. Unsteady / X Ambassadors. I HATE X Ambassadors! Two years ago, I went to see Lights in Carrboro, NC with Tommy and three other friends. X Ambassadors was opening and this packed -ing venue knew every word to every one of their -ing songs, which were all generic -o crap. In my professional opinion, the crowd was not nearly enthusiastic enough for Lights after liking X Ambassadors so much. X Ambassadors. Oh, yeah, "Unsteady", too.

SPECIAL. AWARDS.
Best Taken Literally: Cake by the Ocean / DNCE. Judging by the video, I suppose this song is actually about, like, butts, or sex, or whatever. I prefer to take it very literally: what more could anyone want in life than "Funfetti, I'm ready; I need it every night / Red velvet, vanilla, chocolate in my life"?

Best Not Taken Literally: Broccoli / Big Baby D.R.A.M. ft Lil Yachty. Big Baby D.R.A.M. seems cool, but c'mon: why would you do that to broccoli?! Broccoli is best prepared by steaming in soy sauce or sautéed with garlic in olive oil.

Calvin Harris: This Is What You Came For / Calvin Harris ft Rihanna. Certainly one of the catchiest songs of the year, and I could probably listen to it on repeat for quite a long time. But, seriously, Calvin Harris.

Secret Shame: 7 Years / Lukas Graham. For some reason, I enjoy listening to this song.

Too Confusing For Me To Rank: Too Good / Drake ft Rihanna. I can't keep track!

WTF: Adventure of a Lifetime / Coldplay. A stupid music video is not going to make me like your trash song.

[Steeve Ho You Fat]

On My Mind / Ellie Goulding. I love Lights and despised every other song on her debut album. Ex's and Oh's and On My Mind are slowly changing my mind about Ellie Goulding.

Ex's and Oh's is a good song, but I didn't realize it was great enough to change your mind about a musician who was in no way involved with its production!

[Cody]

On My Mind / Ellie Goulding. I love Lights and despised every other song on her debut album. Ex's and Oh's and On My Mind are slowly changing my mind about Ellie Goulding.

Ex's and Oh's is a good song, but I didn't realize it was great enough to change your mind about a musician who was in no way involved with its production!

two female pop artists whose first names contain no more than five letters, start with Ell and end with e, plus have last names ending in -ing....who can tell the difference?!

[Aaron's Rod]

SONGS I LIKED
Like #20. or something: I don't hate "No," okay, I tried and I can't do it.
10. "On My Mind": I can't usually listen to Ellie Golding over and over (her songs just don't hold up for me), but I liked this song more than anything since "Lights."
9. "Hide Away": Daya I don't even really "agree" with this song per se, but I like her voice and it's reasonably catchy.
8. "Heathens": I don't like the weird little electronic voice TOP uses, but it's otherwise a really good song.
7. "Send My Love": I just really like the melody. Also, I appreciate Adele songs where I can hit all of the notes when I'm driving. Jk. (Maybe.)
6. "Cake by the Ocean": It's just a really fun, upbeat song. I like cake. What's not to love? I agree with the previous posters' commentary on this.
5. "Side to Side": I think that Arianna Grande's and Nicki's talents are both kind of underutilized in this song, but I'm a sucker for the latter so this has to be on the list. Also, I appreciate that Arianna Grande has started to drop the sexy baby aesthetic (one can only hope).
4. "Dangerous Woman": Yessssss.
3. "Oui": Okay, this song is adorable, and I will not hear anything against it. I never thought I would find the commentary referencing "Birthday Sex" really sweet, but come on.
2. "Sorry": BOY, BYE. I needed this song in my life years ago.
1. "Sit Still, Look Pretty": Is this the best song of 2016? Probably not. Is it my favorite? Yes.

SERIOUSLY?
Somewhere in the 70s-- "Stressed Out": This song stresses me out.
91. "My House": I hated Bruno Mars' "Lazy Song" and I hate this, too.
92. "Treat You Better": you probably wont tho??
93. "Lost Boys": This song is both depressing and uninspired. I can tolerate fun and uninspired things in pop, and I can tolerate depressing and inspired things in other genres, but this is just not a winning song.
94. "Let It Go": I cannot stand whiny white boy music, which comprised most of the bottom of my 2015 list.
95. "One Call Away": See above. She's just not that into you.
96. "H.O.L.Y.": You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
97. "Two Phones": Did we, as a society, really need this song?
98. "7 Years": Oh my gosh I hate this song SO MUCH. It's so whiny/fake deep. It takes itself so seriously and it just makes my skin crawl with secondhand embarrassment. It just reminds me of that "I'm 14 and this is deep" subreddit.
99. "Down in the DM": Songs about social media just make me feel like I need a shower. Especially the "snapchat me that [...]" stuff. Please stop. You're 35. Yo Gotti has some of the most uninspired Genius commentary I've ever seen from any artist.
100. "Back to Sleep": I had not heard of this song until I watched the video linked in the OP, but between the Wu-Tang-esque whispering, the premise, being really awkwardly detailed/explicit, and the fact that Chris -ing Brown is still making music like that's okay, this is just...really bad. Who thought this was a good idea?!

I'm just a sad internet misandrist, I guess.

OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS
"Closer" is boring. I don't get the appeal.
I wanted to hate "Hymn to the Weekend" but I just couldn't. I like the piano riff and general musical aesthetic. I maintain it's a stupid title.
I feel personally victimized that I can't vote for "Ex's and Oh's" again.
I can't take Fifth Harmony seriously after this (mildly NSFW?), which is undoubtedly catchier than many actual Fifth Harmony songs. Very relatedly, I wish I could have voted for more "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" songs instead of actual songs.

[1.82]

I can't take Fifth Harmony seriously after this (mildly NSFW?), which is undoubtedly catchier than many actual Fifth Harmony songs. Very relatedly, I wish I could have voted for more "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" songs instead of actual songs.

The list of 2016 songs I've listened to more than "Oh My God I Think I Like You" is very, very short.

[Cody]

I can't take Fifth Harmony seriously after this (mildly NSFW?), which is undoubtedly catchier than many actual Fifth Harmony songs. Very relatedly, I wish I could have voted for more "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" songs instead of actual songs.

The list of 2016 songs I've listened to more than "Oh My God I Think I Like You" is very, very short.

This song is surprisingly good, but no song with "oh my god" in the title will ever surpass Girl's Day's "Oh! My God"

[Blackboard Monitor Vimes]

i hate u, i love u / gnash ft Olivia O'Brien. Fairly catchy, but torpedo'd by gnash's vocals and his inability to properly title a song. Far outclassed by "hate u love u", which just has Olivia O'Brien's vocals.

Excited to find out this exists, since her vocals are why I like that song. Unfortunate that the second "all alone I watch you watch her" isn't as chills-inducing the way it's performed in the solo version.

Tonight or tomorrow I'll probably work on my own list.

[jonpin]

Some years, one list is harder than the other. This year, they are both difficult for different reasons. When I made my initial run through to short-list songs, I got 18 on the bad list, and that was with me not including a myriad of songs that make me instantly change the station. Justin Bieber isn't on the short list at all! When cutting to ten, I had to cut songs where Chris Brown threatens to " you back to sleep", where the word "hold" contains approximately five syllables, and a Peter Pan anthem that sounds like a sixth grade book report. Ugh.
My short list for the good list was about as long with some EXTREMELY generous inclusions, like "OK, yeah, I can tolerate this song. That might be good enough for the top ten." This might be the top-ten list I am least proud of, and the first one I ever made included "Jar of Hearts" for god's sake.

10. Sit Still, Look Pretty did not stand up to repeated listens nearly as well as I thought it would, with the end of the second verse being a complete trainwreck, but it's miles better than every empowerment anthem Meghan Trainor ever tried to sing.
9. It took One Direction until their dying breaths to make their best song. Baby, it's Perfect. Is it about Taylor Swift? Probably a little bit.
8. I like how Todd in the Shadows described this song as "pathetic", not in its modern sense but in the sense of inspiring pathos. The guy who always knew everyone else was cooler than him came back with I Took a Pill in Ibiza and boy does he know a sad, sad song.
7. I rank the songs, not the singers, which is good for Twenty One Pilots as good lord did they let me down with their second and third singles, but Stressed Out was a good jam. But then someone said "Wake up, you need to make money" and they recorded the garbage that is "Heathens".
6. A few years ago, I named my top song of the year Ed Sheeran's "Don't", which was 100% about Ellie Goulding allegedly cheating on him. So I kinda have to return the favor and rank Ellie Goulding's On My Mind, which is 100% about how she doesn't give a about Ed Sheeran.
5. Never has a song grown on me from "eh" to "yeah this is good" the way Closer has, and that's almost entirely due to a karaoke DJ insisting I sing it with her. Probably about a dozen times over the course of the year. I will grant, the Chainsmokers are jackasses and the one who sings has a terrible voice, but to me, this song isn't about them anymore. We ain't ever getting older.
4. Every so often, a big dumb stupid song finds it way onto here (see "Timber", 2014, or "I Love It", 2013), and there's no excuse for it other than that sometimes I like a big dumb stupid song. Welcome to My House. Home run, slam dunk, touchdown pass. 'Cause that's a lyric worth preserving for all-time.
-- here is where I would be ranking "Here" if I hadn't put it on my personal top-ten last year --
3. The fastest way for a song to get into my heart and/or brain is wordplay. And with zeugma like "Lie to me, lie with me, get your fix / Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all mixed", I have strong praise for I Hate U, I Love U. The rare song where the radio version is significantly better, by the way, as the expletives add nothing and genuinely screw up the meter, and I much prefer the verse-refrain structure of the radio version.
2. When did it become fashionable to hate on Justin Timberlake? Count me out. Can't Stop the Feeling is a much-needed jolt of energy on this year's otherwise flaccid pop charts.
1. I regret leaving "Chandelier" off my 2014 list and (to a lesser extent) leaving "Elastic Heart" off the 2015 list. Not making the same mistake in 2016, as Cheap Thrills is just a great song in every way. A friend of mine would never forgive me for saying it, but the remix with Sean Paul is just a smidge better, as the bridge sounds empty without it. I almost wish for a third verse about how crappy she feels waking up on Sunday morning, but I guess we can just insert "Chandelier" at that point.

Other good songs: "Starboy" (we'll have a year to appreciate it), "Hymn for the Weekend" (remember that time Beyonce saved Coldplay from a boring disaster of a performance? Again?), "Starving" (Hailee Steinfeld can sing)

And now for the bad stuff. My criteria for this list has always been not "worst songs", but "songs that I haaaaate".
10. One line. One line is all it takes to guarantee Don't Mind a spot on this list. You can probably guess what that one line is, but I was driving when I heard this song the first time and I almost had to pull over because holy did he just say that oh my god he did.
9. I wasn't impressed with "Hello". I was downright enraged by Send My Love. If you both know you ain't kids no more, then don't engage in this kind of schoolyard taunt! "I was too strong / You were trembling / You couldn't handle the hot heat rising." Come on, Adele, you are so much better than this garbage.
8. Pop music did a whole lot of letting go in 2016, and I think we need to let go of letting it go. We can start with Let It Go, a song utterly devoid of anything worth listening to. "Why don't you be you and I'll be me? / And I'll be me." Was that sentiment so powerful you just had to repeat it? Give me the Frozen song over this.
7. We Don't Talk Anymore. Gee, I wonder why? Maybe because you broke up! And when people break up, they don't talk to each other anymore, like they used to do.
6. I've heard Christian contemporary music defined as "love songs where the 'you' is always Jesus". I can't tell if that's what's going on with H.O.L.Y. (High On Loving You), but either way it's terrible.
5. Wow, Meghan Trainor barely cracked the top five? "Me Too" is probably the objectively worse song, but I barely heard it at all, so I'm putting No on the list. "Do you wanna listen to Meghan Trainor?" "No."
4. "I won't lie to you" is a great way to begin a song about being a complete piece of , so thanks Shawn Mendes for making your intentions clear. I tend to separate the song from the video most of the time, so let me say that treating Treat You Better as clearly an anthem for escaping abusive relationships is disgraceful. Shawn Mendes does not care that she's being abused, he cares that she's not sleeping with Shawn Mendes. Also the vocal performance is abysmal.
3. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I just really hate the song Cake by the Ocean. I dunno, maybe it's the shouty chorus? Regardless, I don't want to listen to it more to try to figure out why.
2. I know it's a bit cliche to say you hate a song from the first note. But that's literally true here, since the first note of Gold is a discordant pile of syllables that don't form words. I heard it, and declared the song irreedeemable, but it's not like the rest of the track does anything to salvage it, what with using the line "Gold up in my teeth" dozens of times and a pervasive beat that makes you check to see if your faucet has sprunk a leak.
1. So what could be worse than a song I hated from the first second? A song I hated from the introduction even before the song started. I can't remember the exact words, but it was unbearably obnoxious, with these 20-somethings talking about their oh-so-distant childhood and their coming mortality or something like that, and then the toy chimes started playing, and the one guy sings "Once I was 7 Years old" and boy-oh-boy did it just get worse from there. Every bit of this song is awful. SOON I'LL BE SIXTY YEARS OLD, he cries, as if that were a death sentence and not, y'know, the age anyone will turn after they are 59 (which is still *decades away*).

Other bad songs: "Back to Sleep" (never heard this until the year-end list, which probably saved it from a spot), "Too Good" (Drake and Rihanna are both too good for this crap), "One Dance" (I do not care about your Hennessy, Drake), "Unsteady" (actively unpleasant to listen to)

[Smuttynose Island]

Songs I Liked
10. Same Old Love By Selena Gomez
9. Into You by Ariana Grande - The first of many.
8. Work by Rihanna ft. Drake - Some might call the chorus repetitive. I call it catchy.
7. Don't Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya
6. Roses by The Chainsmokers ft. ROZES
5. Cheap Thrills by Sia ft. Sean Paul - Sia's track is only made better by the addition of Sean Paul.
4. Closer[\b] by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey - Like all Chainsmokers songs, it is the guest vocals that really stand out. Although, the production is pretty good as well.
3. Side to Side by Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj - As Cody mentioned, Nicki Minaj has a wonderful guest verse on this song. Surprisingly, it wasn't even her best line in a guest rap verse this year. That honor goes to her savage thrashing of Dirk Nowitzki's knees on Bebe Rexha's "No Broken Hearts." Unfortunately, the line probably isn't appropriate for the HS section of the forums, so you'll have to look it up yourself.
2. Oui by Jeremih
1. Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande - Probably the most seductive pop song released in 2016.

Songs I Disliked
10. Love Yourself by Justin Bieber - Justin got the short end of the stick on my list. Purpose has some very good songs on it, several of which almost made my "Songs I Liked" List. Unfortunately, "Love Yourself" was not one of them.
9. Me, Myself & I by G-Eazy - G-Eazy's parts of this song, like most of his raps, are bland. Which is a shame, because Bebe Rexha's hook is fantastic.
8. Heathen by Twenty One Pilots
7. Ride by Twenty One Pilots
6. Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots - I was never a fan of Twenty One Pilots and overexposure really soured my opinion of these songs. In hindsight, perhaps I am being overly harsh.
5. 7 Years by Lukas Graham
4. One Call Away by Charlie Puth
3. Stiches by Shawn Mendes
2. Lost Boys by Ruth B
1. Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes

[Dirty Water]

Dishonorable Mention:
Some of these songs have just really, really bland or just plain bad hip-hop songs to thank for being placed outside the bottom ten.
Cut It; All the Way Up; Die A Happy Man; H.O.L.Y.; Me Too

BOTTOM TEN

91. Pop Style. Bland.
92. Roses. Not hip-hop, but bland.
93. 2 Phones. Bad.
94. White Iverson. Bad.
95. One Call Away. Charlie Puth, I would tell you to go back to where you came from, but you were raised an hour away, and studied music half an hour away. No.
96. Really Really. Bland.
97. Antidote. Bad.
98. Down in the DM. Bad and bland.
99. Wicked. Bland.
100. My House. This is a big dumb stupid song.


Honorable Mention:
Middle; In The Night; Starboy; Sucker for Pain; Hymn for the Weekend

TOP TEN
10. Close.
9. Oui. It took me too long to get the wordplay. Far too long.
8. Hands to Myself.
7. Here. I liked this song last year, and I still like it this year.
6. Send My Love (To Your New Lover).
5. Same Old Love. My preferred Selena Gomez song this year. It's great to see that she's successfully transitioned into artisthood.
5. Sorry by Beyoncé.
4. Gold. If you don't like voice modulation, whatever. I think the composition of the hook was genius.
3. Never Forget You. I love the pre-chorus and the pop-drop here.
2. Cake By The Ocean. This was fun.
1. I Took A Pill In Ibiza. Like most of the songs on Mike Posner's latest album, this song was vastly improved by the remix (which is the only version most of you know of, anyway). I don't think we'll ever hear again from SeeB, though, whoever they are.

[Votre Kickstarter Est Nul]

Not sure whether this is still a thing or if it's over, but may aswell do it. Since most of these songs suck pretty badly the more they're played, I'm gonna occasionally try and speak from the me that first heard them (but other times I'm gonna consider how shitty they aged).

I know they're ineligible but let me hate!
97. Wildest Dreams / Taylor Swift: I hate Taylor Swift. That's really all there is to this and that's probably unfair but ew.
98. Watch Me / Silento: Someone had to put a bunch of moves invented by others in a song??? I guess??? I'm sure sweet sixteens were grateful, but I especially didn't know what to do when I heard it in the car. Kind of a pointless song when doing as told would result in a crash.

I left them numbered because I honestly don't hate any of the rest of the songs enough to include them here (I also haven't heard many but still). Props to Watch Me, For Free, and Treat You Better for being more hated than a TSwift Song, a mighty accomplishment for me!

Songs I hated! (Gotta end it on a positive note)
91. LUV / Tory Lanez: This one is probably the victim of the fact that I like Tory Lanez generally but really really can't stand this song. Pretty annoying chorus, and his style isn't really conducive to really bland generic stuff since his voice won't carry it.
92. Work / Rihanna ft. Drake: I really just never want to hear the word "work" again. Got a lifetime full of it thanks to the radio.
93. Heathens / 21 Pilots: That it's for a movie makes more sense to me, but this song was generally just boring. I won't make any sudden moves!
94. Stiches / Shawn Mendes: I liked this at first, but Shawn Mendes is kinda just always dumb, with a voice good enough to pass it off.
95. Down in the DM / Yo Gotti ft. Nicki Minaj: Maybe I am not immersed in DM culture and am missing out. Just didn't like it.
96. Controlla / Drake: I thought this was just a song announcing his preference for being dominant. I decided to look up the analysis. Verdict: It might still be that, annoying song nonetheless.
99. For Free / DJ Khaled ft. Drake: Drake is a male prostitute??? Gambino went from actor to rapper to actor/producer/funk singer so Drake also wants to switch careers I guess?
100.Treat You Better / Shawn Mendes: I may go through my facebook posts from middle school about girls (yes I hate that me too), write them in succession, and churn out something similar to this. Also super patronizing in a "please cheat on your bf for me" way. Also sounds like what Bo Burnham's "Repeat Stuff" would respond to if made in 2016.

The "i hate u, i love u" award for song I loved then wanted to punch in the face (if you can do that to a song)
Closer / The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey: So frickin catchy. I'm kinda convinced a psychologist made this by analyzing trends and calculating the perfect song. That also makes it super bland and annoying after a while though.

The opposite of Closer
White Iverson / Post Malone: Kinda feeling this song now, but thought it was the dumbest thing ever when it came out.

The "Uhh... idk"s
See You Again / Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth: Charlie Puth's vocals and a sad death can apparently carry shitty Wiz barely-rap verses and super generic stuff.
Cake by the Ocean / DNCE: I see u Joe Jones ;) Did not realize what this was for quite some time.
i hate u, i love you / gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien: I don't hate gnash unlike a lot of this thread, but, like all of his stuff, is so so angsty o lord. Good at first, don't really want to hear it again though.
Cold Water / Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber and MO: I like Bieber's voice may as well be the summary for every one of his songs. None really age well though.
Let Me Love You / DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber: See above

Songs I loved/liked/kinda liked
10. Here / Alessia Cara: Not the biggest fan of this song but it's just solid. Even if I never played it on repeat it was just an overall solid song in every way which is cool.
9. One Dance / Drake ft. Wizkid and Kyla: Super catchy and fun!
8. Like I'm Gonna Lose You / Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend: I like both of their voices a lot more than most of their music (more true for Meghan than John), but I liked this alot. Its cute and a fun singalong.
7. Oui / Jeremih: Just a fun song. He has a way of making good songs. Just good enough to not age like shit to me. (Merry Christmas Lil Mama!)
6. Say It / Tory Lanez: Tory Lanez iz cool.
5. Don't / Bryson Tiller: The better of the two hit Pen Griffey songs (I liked exchange too) that led to some fun vines based on the "left hand is stearing right hand the other is gripping your thigh line."
4. Hotline Bling / Drake: Had some cool remixes (Srno and K.A.A.N. are my favs), a funny ass music video, a terrible live performance on SNL (Never thought Drake was a trash singer but after that idk... pitch), but a super catchy song that I'm surprised didn't end the year at #1 considering how big it was and how much bigger it seemed to get when his dancing went viral.
3. Brocolli / D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty: Poor broccoli. Google it and the song is 3 of the first 4 links. The vegetable had it hard enough being hated by all kids in TV shows it didn't need this. Lil Yachty decided to reference columbine and Hulk Hogan's sex tape, which was pretty fitting in a song that was one big very thinly disguised allusion to pot. Super catchy and fun though, as both DRAM and Yachty tend to be.
2. Low Life / Future ft. The Weeknd: Catchy with two artists I like a lot (although, and this is annoying to say whoops, the old Weeknd is far better), so they made a song I like a lot!
1. Antidote / Travis Scott: This is #1 purely for the fact that Travis Scott is the only artist in the entire top 100 whose entire discography I listen to frequently. Very party-centric but also just a very solid song, verse and instrumental-wise.

There's so much rap on this list! That's fun to see :) My comments were definitely way less funny than I had hoped they would be but eh, shit happens.

EDIT: I like Side to Side and forgot about it. I also liked when a little while back a seemingly decent chunk of the internet decided to think about it more and freak out a bit. Definitely my favorite of radio-played Ariana (I don't know her non-radio stuff after Yours Truly).

[Monstruos de Bolsillo]

Here's my list. Warning: My thoughts in these types of posts can be incredibly incoherent. Also, I liked catchy songs that aren't annoying (at least in my opinion!)

Bottom 10
91. Broccoli D.R.A.M feat. Lil Yachty - This song squeaks into the bottom 10 because of how bad the song is. I was tempted not to include it in my bottom 10, as it is catchy, has some hilarious lines, and when taken literally, is ridiculous. However, none of that should hide the fact that the song is just plain bad, the vocals are horrible, the music video might have been one of the most horrific I've seen in some time, and the images that enter my mind as a result.
92. Work Rihanna feat. Drake - This, to me is Rihanna at some of her worst. Repetitive lyrics, butchering words (in this case horrible slurring), lack of a meaningful chorus, and the annoying fact that she can do so much better. It also doesn't help that between this song and Work from Home, one could turn on the radio and hear a mind-numbing number of works in a day. Drake's part is decent, but only rescues it from being further down the list.
93. Needed Me Rihanna - I didn't realize how much I disliked Rihanna this year, but here we go. More slurred speech, sentences randomly running into each other, sets the tempo way off. Unlike Work, it's not catchy in the slightest. I like many, many Rihanna songs, but, as this year shows, she's very hit or miss with me.
94. Heathens Twenty One Pilots - I don't like Twenty One Pilots very much at all, but this was easily my least favorite. Ride is okay, Stressed Out is slightly less than that, and this one is horrible. So dark and dreary, it really feels like it doesn't deserve to be listened to for anyone not wishing to feel really negative after listening to it.
95. Hotling Bling Drake - I might be one of the only people who really does not like this song, but its placing this low is helped by the cultural impact and general propensity to be everywhere. to me, it's overly bland, especially in a year with some pretty bland Drake songs.
96. What Do You Mean? Justin Bieber - So, as Justin Bieber transitions as an artist, I'm liking him more and more. This year, out of his big charting songs, I would say he had many more I liked than didn't like, which is a far cry from being bombarded by One Time, One Less Lonely Girl, Baby, and whatever else from those first couple of albums. However, I find this song really boring, and vastly overplayed. This was antagonizing to me, as there are better options from him released this year that could get more airplay, instead of this one.
97. Sorry Beyonce - When I listen to Beyonce, or I want to listen to Beyonce, there's many different options I have. This sound from her is not something I would pick, at all. It goes way too close to a sound I would expect listening to a really bad rap hit by a no-name rapper (there seem to be a lot of these nowadays). That is not what I look for in my Beyonce. I like the dance hits, but I also liked slightly slower stuff like Irreplaceable. Halo was also one of the songs of hers I really liked, and this song doesn't fit in with the Beyonce stuff I like. In fact, the sounds fit in with stuff I really don't like.
98. One Call Away Charlie Puth - Really boring song, not catchy at all, and I'm finding I just don't really like Charlie Puth. This is compounded by the fact that in these slower songs, either the beat needs be amazing (this one isn't), the hook needs to be awesome (this one is the opposite), or the artist has to be somewhere I can appreciate doing the slower song. Needless to say, Charlie Puth is not one of these people.
99. Cake by the Ocean DNCE - This is one of those pointless, overly happy songs. I tend not to like them. It was played ridiculously often on the radio, which only reinforces how much I don't like it. Oh, the music video is pretty bad, too. The chorus actually isn't the worst thing about this song, unlike similar songs. I find the repetitiveness more annoying.
100. H.O.L.Y. Florida Georgia Line - This song is really quite terrible. It doesn't make much sense, has a horrible chorus, a stupid acronym, and all the horrible bro country elements that make the genre almost untouchable to me today. I actually really liked Cruise, but that was different for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that it was insanely catchy. I almost feel like they were trying to do something really deep with this, but it ended up as this abomination of a song instead. Did I mention how horrible the acronym is?

Top 10
10. All the Way Up Fat Joe, Remy Ma feat. French Montana, Infared - I listen to a decent amount of hip-hop/rap, but there were not too many hip hop songs this year that really jumped out to me as stuff I really liked. This is one of the few that I felt were worth repeated listening to, and that is why it makes this list. As a song, it's probably not all that special (though Fat Joe having a big hit is a nice throwback), but it is towards the top of the genre for myself this year.
9. Sorry Justin Bieber - I find it amazing that Justin Bieber can crack my top 10 these days. Shows you how much he has changed as an artist. The song is catchy, which is something you couldn't really say (at least I couldn't) about the beginning stuff. His voice has matured to the point where it sounds much more like typical pop, but the fact that this song still stands out to me tells me how good of a job Bieber did with this song.
8. One Dance Drake feat. Wizkid and Kyla - This is what a good Drake song these days sounds like. I tend to be more favorable towards Drake stuff from 5+ years ago, but every album of his contains a few good songs. The overall sound of this song makes you want to listen to it, and I find it interesting because I don't consider it as sing-alongy as a lot of other songs like it. The fact that it just as enjoyable shows how good it is.
7. Roses Chainsmokers feat. ROZES - The opening verse is great, and the beat drop fits right on. Another aspect I really like is all the different sounds this song throws at you, and how well it blends together to make not only a song easy to listen to, but really good on top of that.
6. My House Flo Rida - I can usually count on Flo Rida to make some nice hip-hop/dance beat. The ability to sing along with this song makes it very good, and I really like the parts leading into the chrous, and the chorus as a whole. The rhythm makes it a great listen. People get on Flo Rida, for various reasons, but he continues to produce catchy, if overly simple beats like this.
5. Just Like Fire P!nk - I really like P!nk, and she has churned out good songs year after year. She is another one who has had many different sounds throughout the years. This, to me, is what the more upbeat songs should sound like. Unlike a lot of the others that go stale really quick, the varied tones, vocal range, and a killer hook make this song really stand out.
4. Cheap Thrills Sia feat. Sean Paul - This is my favorite Sia song by far. It's unbelievably catchy, and synthesizes Sean Paul into the structure of the song really well. Even in the background, the sounds he makes add to the song. Similar to Just Like Fire, the beat really makes this song stand out, and that is why its catchiness helps make it better, instead of horrible.
3. Send My Love (To Your New Lover) Adele - I like the way the main verses lead up to the chorus, and it brings out Adele's vocal talent. It's a really good song to sing along with, very catchy, and something different from a lot of other songs that try to follow that template, due in a large part to the fact that
Adele's singing it and not some generic pop star. This makes it an all-around great song.
2. Sit Still, Look Pretty Daya - This is a really good song. I like the chorus, a lot, and is overall a really impressive song, especially from an artist who is so young. I listened to this song a lot this year, and it never got old. That is one mark of a really good song, and I really like Daya's voice as well.
1. Closer Chainsmokers feat. Halsey - I didn't really grip how much I liked this song at the beginning, or how undeniably catchy it would become. I know it must be good, because it is on the radio all the time, and I like it every time.

[Maury Island incident]

Top 10:

1. Broccoli- I will be grateful to this song for giving me the opportunity to say “Grammy-nominated artist Lil Yachty.”
2. Starboy- By the end of this song, I usually find myself singing along and/or praying for cars.
3. Tiimmy Turner- Beluga, beluga, beluga.
4. One Dance- Singing Drake is a lot better than rapping Drake.
5. Never Be Like You- This, not “Closer,” is the song that feels like the perfectly crafted EDM song to me. I don’t get tired of it.
6. Jumpman- Rapping Drake makes some good songs, too.
7. All The Way Up- Who would’ve thought Fat Joe would have a big hit in 2016… and that wasn’t the weirdest thing that happened all year?
8. All In My Head (Flex)- I should probably be more embarrassed than I am to have powered the Fifth Harmony tossup at ACRONYM last year.
9. Antidote- I’m putting this here more as an award for Rodeo, which is, IMO, the greatest trap album of all time. If, in some parallel universe, “Nightcrawler” or “Maria I’m Drunk” became a radio hit, that would be my #1.
10. Don’t Let Me Down- As “one of those high schoolers,” Daya is a few months older than me.

Bottom 10:
*limiting this to one song per artist

100. Heathens- Someone please explain to me again why Twenty One Pilots aren’t emo.
99. Stitches- Something about Shawn Mendes’ voice is very irritating to me, although the song itself is pretty catchy.
98. One Call Away- Charlie Puth also has an irritating voice.
97. Humble and Kind- The song itself wouldn’t be that bad if my brother hadn’t been on a Tim McGraw binge recently, which unfortunately exposes me to dangerous levels of country music.
96. No- What I say when someone puts a Meghan Trainor song on.
95. Me, Myself and I- Bebe Rexha can’t save this song from G-Eazy.
94. H.O.L.Y.- I’ve never even listened to this song, but cannot fathom it being even remotely decent.
93. See You Again- Paul Walker deserved better than this generic excuse for a song.
92. Unsteady- X Ambassadors are at their best making more uptempo music, not whining their way through a song like this one.
91. My House- Flo Rida can absolutely make a good pop song. This is not one of them.

[Unicolored Jay]

Best

1. "Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande - Not in 4/4 time, really brings out Ariana's voice.
2. "Starboy" by The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk - Clever lyrics, The Weeknd isn't annoying sounding, and Daft Punk.
3. "Never Be Like You" by Flume featuring Kai - Kai can sing, the sounds are really odd but fun to listen to.
4. "Cheap Thrills" by Sia featuring Sean Paul - Sia being Sia, so easy to sing along to this.
5. "On My Mind" by Ellie Goulding - Hehe revenge songs
6. "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" by Adele - I prefer Adele's more upbeat songs.
7. "Can't Stop the Feeling!" by Justin Timberlake - It's uplifting and catchy.
8. "I Took a Pill in Ibiza" by Mike Posner - An EDM remix was just what this song needed to be good!
9. "When We Were Young" by Adele - But Adele's slower songs are still fun to listen to.
10. "Into You" by Ariana Grande - It's got what I like from pop music.

Worst
1. "7 Years" by Lukas Graham - Overly narcissistic, really, really annoying voice!
2. "Treat You Better" by Shawn Mendes - Bad message, horrible singing.
3. "Pillowtalk" by Zayn - Too much yelling and poor choice of style for this topic.
4. "White Iverson" by Post Malone - Having to say you're swaggin' and ballin' loses you points.
5. "Unsteady" by X Ambassadors - Horrible sounding chorus.
6. "Ride" by Twenty One Pilots - Too much OOoooOoooOoooOOOoohh
7. "Let It Go" by James Bay - Has a voice an octave too high to make this work.
8. "One Call Away" by Charlie Puth - Treat You Better but not as annoying.
9. "Don't Let Me Down" by The Chainsmokers featuring Daya - Too repetitive, some annoying sounds here. EDIT: Am I really the only person who disliked this?
10. "Don't Mind" by Kent Jones - This guy doesn't actually know any foreign languages, does he?

[jonpin]

At some point (I think last week), Joe Nutter asked me if I was gonna total these up. I have nothing better to do*, so I did it. All told, 13 voters cast a positive ballot and 11 cast a negative ballot.

THE FAVORITES
10. Gold (Kiiara) - 23 points on 3 votes, one #1. "This song is dope." "This is right up my alley."
9. Oui (Jeremih) - 23 points on 4 votes (no hate). "This song is adorable, and I will not hear anything against it." "Just a fun song. He has a way of making good songs."
8. Sit Still, Look Pretty (Daya) - 23 points on 4 votes, one #1 (no hate). "This is a really good song." "Is this the best song of 2016? Probably not. Is it my favorite? Yes."
7. Cake by the Ocean (DNCE) - 24 points on 4 votes. "Everything that my cringeworthy pre-teen self would have detested." "Just harmless upbeat pop in a year that seemed anything but harmless and upbeat." "Best Taken Literally"
6. I Took a Pill in Ibiza (Posner) - 25 points on 4 votes, one #1. "Boy does he know a sad, sad song." "This song was vastly improved by the remix." "Anything that lets me enjoy parties with even more irony than I already possess gets an A+ in my book."
5. Sorry (Beyoncé) - 26 points on 5 votes. "I needed this song in my life years ago." "All praise the Queen " (Yeah, five beeses is enough)
4. Dangerous Woman (Grande) - 31 points on 4 votes, two #1s (no hate). "Yessssss." "Probably the most seductive pop song released in 2016." "I'm a madman and would've put THREE Ariana Grande songs in my top 3!" (Yeah, the Ariana fans really made an appearance here...)
3. Side to Side (Grande f/ Minaj) - 34 points on 4 votes, two #1s (no hate). "'If you wanna menage I got a tricycle' is certainly of the greatest lines in modern pop music." "I don’t know where Nicki buys her bicycles but it sounds like she really enjoys riding them!"
2. Closer (Chainsmokers f/ Halsey) - 49 points on 6 votes, three #1s (no hate). "It represents 'what music sounds like in 2016' well, and it captures our contemporary society well." "It is on the radio all the time, and I like it every time." "I'm literally singing the chorus right now as I'm writing this, I like it so much."

Some honorable mentions (4+ voters): "Don't Let Me Down", "Send My Love" (5); "On My Mind", "One Dance", "Into You", "Same Old Love" (4).

And the number one song... Cheap Thrills (Sia f/ Paul) - 52 points on 7 votes, one #1 (no hate). "I'm pretty sure I could be convinced to like "All About That Bass" if Sia sang it." "Just a great song in every way" "Even in the background, the sounds [Sean Paul] makes add to the song."

THE DESPISED
10. White Iverson (Post Malone) - 23 points on 4 votes (no love). "This song is more of a crime than anything A.I. ever did."
9. Down in the DM (Yo Gotti f/ Minaj) - 24 points on 3 votes (no love). "Please stop. You're 35."
8. Heathens (Twenty One Pilots) - 25 points on 5 voters, one last place. "So dark and dreary, it really feels like it doesn't deserve to be listened to."
7. My House (Flo Rida) - 27 point on 4 votes, two last places. "This is a big dumb stupid song." (I see what you did there, David. I'll make sure to play this song on the bus all the way to the airport for HSNCT.)
6. Lost Boy (Ruth B) - 27 points on 5 votes (no love). "This song is both depressing and uninspired."
5. Unsteady (X Ambassadors) - 38 points on 5 votes, one last place (no love). "There is absolutely no content to this song, it’s just meaningless noise." "I'm a lot ready to never hear this song again."
4. One Call Away (Puth) - 38 points on 7 votes (no love). "Really boring song, not catchy at all." "She's just not that into you."
3. 7 Years (Lukas Graham) - 41 points on 5 votes, two last places (no love). "It just makes my skin crawl with secondhand embarrassment." "A song I hated from the introduction even before the song started." "Overly narcissistic."
2. H.O.L.Y. (Florida Georgia Line) - 43 points on 6 votes, one last place (no love). "Almost as poorly constructed as 'Take Me to Church'!" "Jesus Christ. Or perhaps my wife. They’re the same?" "This song is really quite terrible. [...] Did I mention how horrible the acronym is?"

A few dishonorable mentions (3+ voters): "Stitches", "No" (4); "Ride", "Don't Mind", "Let It Go" (3).

And the worst song of the year is, of course... Treat You Better (Mendes) "Thanks Shawn Mendes for making your intentions clear." "Bad message, horrible singing." "He probably can't."

THE MIXED BAG
As always, by an arbitrary formula I invented a few years ago, the songs on which we as a quiz bowl society are most sharply divided. With so few voters, only three songs had multiple votes in each direction, and here they are:
3. My House (Flo Rida) - 12 points on 2 votes positive; 27 points on 4 votes negative, two last place (#7). Score of 9.64.
2. Gold (Kiiara) - 23 points on 3 votes positive, one #1 (#10); 14 points on 2 votes negative. Score of 9.90.
1. Cake by the Ocean (DNCE) - 24 points on 4 votes positive (#7); 17 points on 2 votes negative. Score of 11.28.

Of 90 songs eligible for inclusion: 53 got positive votes, 44 got negative votes. Each of these counts includes the 21 that got both. 14 received no attention at all (highest of these on the Billboard charts was #6 Panda).

*-The end of our trimester is this week, and this is an outright lie.

[Cody]

Awesome!