Chicago Open Predictions

[Peter13]

I have done something that I think has never been done since 2010 (probably for good reasons), a Chicago Open Predictions thread. Now, I wrote this a while ago, so understand that with all the team changes in the last week or two, it will probably change my (somewhat) accurate predictions record. So I am posting this just for the fun of it. I hope at least one person gets enjoyment out of these predictions.

17. "Oh, Them" – You know your day is bad when you zero a bonus on the University of Chicago despite two members of your team going to it.

16. Funeral March for a Quizbowl Team – After Douglas Yetman negs Chopin's Piano Sonata No. 2, it certianly feels like this team is heading to a funeral.

15. Canada – Jay has been negging much of the history, and after confusing Demetrius I of Bactria and Demetrius I Soter, the only prize that this team look like winning is the neg prize. Sadly, they end up losing that as well.

14. Poop Heads – After a struggling start, a suspicious string of literature is read, which Chris Manners subsequently devours. After accusations start flying, it appears that the moderator accidentally read from his Chicago Lit Singles packet.

13. Team – Charles Hang starts off well, but after failing to know about the Anglo-Zanzibar War, it takes less than 38 minutes for him to be deposed and for Gordon Arsenoff to be installed as leader.

12. Alice Walker's Left Eye – After being ravaged by some mathematical theory and rather obscure 20th century compositions, Chris Borglum starts to lead a comeback, though their chances of victory are seen as less clear after they neg Shug Avery.

11. Team 17 – This team starts off strong, with Cory and Naveed leading the charge. Then they completely blank on a bonus about terrible presidents, which is odd since Michael Coates went to Warren G. Harding.

10. Bentley et al – A motley crew of teammates make up this interesting cast of characters. I expect them to rise up towards the middle of the table to finish just above mediocrity.

9. Not Actually 2016 Dream Team – They might not be the dream team, but it feels like a dream when this team leads 160-50 against Matt Bollinger's team, in no small part do to Will Alston's 30ing European barbarians. Then Will wakes up.

8. Mathis der Malonic Ester – Dylan Minarik seems to have comeback stronger this year, both physically and mentally, getting tossups left and right. Then Victor negs dialkylated structures, and the team yields lower returns after that.

7. Casualties of the UVA Commerce School Incident – This team looks like they might have a chance to pull off the ultimate upset and win CO after defeating one title contender. Then in typical Chris Ray fashion, they lose to a bottom bracket team.

6. Davis et al. - Sam Bailey knows his ancient religious texts. Jasper Lee knows his classical music. Mirza Ahmed knows his European battles. Trevor Davis knows his mythology, but doesn't know enough about geography, as he gets lost at lunchtime.

5. Hannah, My Höch – This competitive ragtag group seem to have been leading the way early on, before Matt Lafer gets cut with the kitchen knife through his beer-belly.

4. Teem Centipedes – This team is full of generalists, but who is the general among them? I personally think that Rob Carson is not the leader they wanted, but the leader they deserve.

3. Why is this a required field then? - The strategy that this team employs is simple; Will gets the literature and history, Billy gets the science, Mike gets the general knowledge, and Ike recycles his old questions that are too difficult for humans to understand.

2. Zshoozsh – This team has almost everything covered. History? Check. Science? Check. Literature? Check. Music? Well, they have John Lawrence, so double check. They only thing that I don't think they have is a chance at the title.

1. So Fresh, So Clean, The Days That Are No More – Matt Bollinger and Matt Jackson, teaming up? This must be a team for the ages, even without adding Tommy and Auroni's strengths. This team will wash away the competition in their idle tears.

[naan/steak-holding toll]

My prediction: We beat Jacob Reed's team because he negs three music tossups in a single round: one on classical music, one on jazz, and one on K-Pop. We swoop in, convert all three questions, and proceed to chuckle with glee for the rest of the day.

EDIT: See Andrew's necessary correction to my post below.

[Good Goblin Housekeeping]

My prediction: We beat Jacob Reed's team because he negs three music tossups in a single round: one on classical music, one on jazz, and one on K-Pop. We swoop in, convert all three questions, and proceed to chuckle with glee for the rest of the day.

*Gee

[Muriel Axon]

Note that teams apparently have new names, in one of which Jerry plagiarizes an Alex Rosenberg title to push his radical Churchlandian agenda. Truly shameless! #tcot

[Fado Alexandrino]

15. Canada – Jay has been negging much of the history, and after confusing Demetrius I of Bactria and Demetrius I Soter, the only prize that this team look like winning is the neg prize. Sadly, they end up losing this as well.

What’s that? Ah — 3rd last place? Don’t talk about — 3rd last place? You kidding me? 3rd last? I just hope we can answer a tossup!

[vinteuil]

After being ravaged by some mathematical theory and rather obscure 20th century compositions

I dream

My prediction: We beat Jacob Reed's team because he negs three music tossups...with K-Pop.

ftfy (I still dream)

[grapesmoker]

you should update your post to reflect new team names

[Peter13]

you should update your post to reflect new team names

Easier said then done. With all the name and squad changes, it could take me a good couple days to re-rank the teams and find the right jokes to go with the their new names and the players' personalities. Though if enough people are interested, I may change my tune and write an updated version.