Real Chicago Open predictions thread

[theMoMA]

Keep the serious discussion in the other thread, this is entirely for amusement (order of finish taken straight from Jonathan's tiers).

T1. The Solid Scholars (Jonathan Magin, Seth Teitler, Selene Koo, Bruce Arthur)
T1. The Gorilla Wrestles with the Superman (Matt Weiner, Dallas Simons, Richard Mason, Kevin Koai)
T1. This Civilising Love of Death (Brendan Byrne, Charles Meigs, Mike Sorice, Ray Luo)
T1. This Octopus Exploits Women (Trevor Davis, Rob Carson, Eric Mukherjee, John Lawrence)

Jonathan Magin's fence-sitting prediction comes to fruition as the top four teams tie for first in a tetrarchy of death. Richard's victory deals major blow to the Anti-Masonic party. Ray's one-sixteenth of a championship is hailed as major progress for the Luo people, but only furthers belief in the common Kenyan saying: "it's easier for a Luo win Chicago Open or a U.S. presidential election than a Kenyan presidential election." Bruce Arthur concedes that while prediction attempts failed the Lucas Critique, at least the results were Calldor-Hicks efficient. John Lawrence, Richard Mason, and Kevin Koai totally rub it in Aaron Sin's face.

5. An Orderly Universe of Discoverable Laws (Matt Lafer, Ryan Westbrook, Ike Jose, Andrew Hart)

Everyone on the team decides to use the Westbrook method, except Westbrook, who uses the Super-Westbrook Method.

6. A Blue Sky Out of the Oresteia (Chris Ray, Michael Arnold, Andrew Ullsperger)

A momentary hiccup occurs when Marnold forgets every word except "Inception!" for the better part of two rounds.

7. The Inexorable Sadness of Pencils (Evan Adams, Matt Bollinger, Auroni Gupta, Will Butler)

Fare poorly on zeppelin history packet.

8. The First Citizens of Contingency (Ahmad Ragab, Gautam Kandlikar, Aaron Rosenberg, Mike Bentley)

Fail to pass marinara sauce.

9. Speculative Hipsters (Libo Zeng, Phil Guan, Kurtis Droge, Mike Cheyne)

Kurtis amuses himself with the thought that "ANGST" without "Andy" and "Non-Guerrilla" is just "ST."

10. The Way a Ghost Dissolves (Henry Gorman, Thomas Littrell, Benji Nguyen, Chris Romero)

Forced to forfeit match amidst confusion when what appears to be a really long tossup on Imre Kertesz's Fatelessness turns out to be just some non-quizbowl affiliated dude reading Imre Kertesz's Fatelessness.

11. The Great Slime Kings (Michael Hausinger, Andy Kravis, Scot Putzig, Surya Sabhapathy)

Constantly distracted by cloud of bee meta-jokes swarming around pile of Chris Ray's candy meta-jokes.

12. Great Unaffected Vampires (Eric Kwartler, Evan Nagler, Ian Eppler, Trygve Meade)

Trygve Meade immediately finds strategy of studying only Aseret Yemei Teshuva clues disappointing.

13. A Tall Man Executes a Jig (Carsten Gehring, Stephen Liu, David Seal, Charlie Rosenthal)

Charlie Rosenthal alternates negs between "Is this Lou Reid's 'Satellite of Love'?" and "Is this just...the Epson Ivy Bowl?"

14. Autobiography of a Lungworm (Dan Passner, Joe Hansen, Jacob Durst, Kirun)

Dealt a major blow when Jacob Durst is arrested for breaking onetwothreeforfive pigeonsjustlikethat.

15. Academicus Anaemicus (Charles Hang, Charles Martin)

In coveted Most Valuable Charles award voting, both finish behind Meigs, Rosenthal, Dees, David Seal.

[QuizbowlTribune]

You will be hearing from my lawyers, sir

[kayli]

Looks like it's time to get the popcorn ready.

[AKKOLADE]

Looks like it's time to get the popcorn ready.

Hey, guess who's actually banned for a week this time.

[Demonic Leftovers]

I know we all pretend to be interested in predictions of CO, but I'm here to give you what you really want: CO Trash Predictions! (With an assist from Mike Cheyne)
1. Colby Burnett/Brian Hight/Greg Sorenson/Jeremy White: Jeremy White rues not playing CULT as it would have allowed him to be the first TRASH triple crown winner since Seattle Slew.
2. Matt Weiner/Matt Lafer/Evan Nagler/Eric Kwartler: This team comes up just short when Weiner negs the final question, which included a hose that made him think that it was a Kevin Ollie tossup.
3. Mike Cheyne/David Seal/Rob Carson/Trygve Meade: My attempts to use my knowledge of Marnold to determine the answers results in a new neg record for a tournament, and I learn that Michael was not the man I thought he was.
4. Mike Sorice/Andrew Ullsperger/Chris Vicich/Adam Perkins: However, Michael was the man that Chris Vicich always thought he was and Chris becomes the tournament's leading scorer.
5. Mike Kearney/Greg Weinstein/Chris Hendry/Megan Clancy: This team does surprisingly well after Greg Weinstein decides that the tournament is for professional Trash players and refuses to play.
6. Jacob D./Andy S./Kirun S./Brendan Byrne: It's a good thing that Brendan Byrne made that list of J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship award winners, as it finally allows for the OSU people to make good on their CULT promise.
7. Dan Passner / Ted Stratton / Chris Romero / Henry Gorman: This team just reenacts that scene from Neighbors From Hell where Pazuzu and the foppish one argue about the pronunciation of "permanently". You know the scene I'm talking about.
8. Carsten Gehring/Trevor Davis/Frank Firke/Yogesh Raut: Mike Cheyne - "Carsten's crack team of trash professionals foiled because Susan hates Frank"
9. Eric / Chris Ray / Dallas / Jerry: When Michael can't finish the tournament on time Susan fills out the remaining packets with bio questions, allowing Chris Ray to lead this team to the upper half of the bracket.
10. Andrew Hart/Rom Masrour/Mike Bentley/Charles Meigs: This team is poisoned with a powerful hallucinogenic the night before in an attempted act of sabotage by persons unknown. It results in all of the team members believing they are in fact playing 1992 Terrier Tussle. After reading the actual CO Trash questions all of the team members agree that 1992 Terrier Tussle was better.
11. Dan Donohue/Andrew Deveau/Kevin Malis/Ryan Gilmore: This team is too tired to finish in the top 10 after Dan Donohue makes them spend the preceding night getting the choreography right for round 3.
12. Jimmy Ready/Jared Sagoff/Delano Barnes/Tyler Smith: Jimmy attempts to use the gold Tyler found the previous week when he caught a leprechaun to prevent Jared from negging. Hilarity ensues.
13. Charlie R/Bernadette S/Ian E./Matt L./Greg P.: Greg Peterson decides to complicate the teams for this tournament even more when he forms a radical splinter team consisting of a mix of a leftist Chicago professor and a Tea Partier. Despite their billing as "The Original Odd Couple and Greg Peterson" romance is in the air!
14. Craig Messner/Max/Carl/Micah Hodosh: Mike Cheyne thinks that Micah won't like Auroni's video game questions. Of course no one does since they're all on individual game manuals.
15. Erik Nelson, Steven Canning, Jesse Farrell and Mike Kioski: "Beverly Hills Chihuahua," we owe you an apology. Among talking-dog movies, Marmaduke is the runt of the litter."
16. Evan Adams/Surya/Andy Kravis/Magin: Michael finally makes good on his longstanding pledge to eat Andy Kravis. However, he gives this team the answers to the last round as an act of contrition, allowing them to upset Sorice and Co.
17. Nick Bergeron/Devin West/Kevin Koai/Stephen Liu: This team falls apart when they can't decide on whether to use characters from "Pretty Little Liars" or "Secret Life of the American Teenager" as pseudonyms.
18. Mike P/Sam K/Charles Martin/John Colletti: This team goes winless but loses every game by five points. Charles Martin's bravado performance gets him on the cover of the next ESPN The Magazine NEXT issue.
Mystery teams don't get predictions.

[Gautam]

Bruce Arthur decides there's no further point to his life after he's become a proud owner of portraits of Felix zu Schwarzenberg and Axel Oxenstierna. Seth Teitler's intense knowledge of flowering plants during the Younger Dryas partially makes up for the loss.

All bio tossups in this tournament end up being doubly-eponymous syndromes; Andrew Hart figures out that they're specifically on the Crigler-Najjar syndrome, and Chris Ray profits in the process. Selene Koo and Eric Mukherjee are not amused.

Aaron Rosenberg, and NotChris White reveal their long and storied involvement with the Music Mafia. DanDon and Greg peterson ally with John Lawrence to form the rival Musical Mafia, though this alliance is highly tenuous. Whether John Lawrence wants to go Sanjuro-like tp destroy both mafias and establish his dominance in the process is unknown.

Quizbowl's best (former) highschool player Matt Bollinger self-destructs after Mike Cheyne and Gautam Kandlikar keep taunting him. Unfortunately, Auroni Gupta's knowledge helps the team on the "ferrothiocyanate/Vaska's complex/ligands" bonus, but does not save Matt further embarrassment when he yells "THAT'S A WORD, MIKE SORICE!" upon hearing the word "ligand."

Ike Jose, delighted with having finished the lit tournament TWO WHOLE DAYS before the tournament, keeps rubbing it in the face of Minnesotans. This does not go well as he ends up revealing all the answers to the INSANE DIFFICULTY packet by negging on 20 lit tossups, much to Andrew Hart's chagrin.

eh, I'm done now. Somebody else continue to provide us with some entertainment por favor.

[Cheynem]

A sick Bruce shows up at the tournament for a crucial final game against the Weiner team. Like Kirk Gibson in 1988, Bruce has one buzz in him and uses it to one-line a common link tossup on members of the Horthy family. However, upon doing so, he promptly collapses and is bedridden for several weeks. A distressed Seth Teitler can only say "wa-wa."

[QuizbowlTribune]

What the hey, I will rank teams as well.

1. This Octopus Exploits Women
Eric Mukherjee and Rob Carson start a contest in Round 2 to see who can get more tossups. In the process, they win the tournament.

2. The Solid Scholars
Actually won final game, but was penalized for having such a bland name and forced to take 2nd.

3. A Blue Sky of Orestia
Jerry Vinkurov takes the fourth spot on this team unexpectedly, leading them to 3rd.

4. This Civilizing Love of Death
A frustrated Meigs begins writing Diary of Brendan Byrne during the tournament.

5. The Gorilla Wrestles with the Superman
Matt Weiner, having never met either Kevin Koai or Richard Mason before, mistakes two hobos for his teammates before the tournament. Scruffy Joe puts up 2 ppg and John Nottingham II puts up -2.6 ppg. Needless to say, the team suffers.

6. An Orderly Universe of Discoverable Laws
Ike Jose begins yelling at Ryan Westbrook when he negs, and when he gets tossups.

7. The Inexorable Sadness of Pencils
Matt Bollinger triumphantly first-lines a tossup on Asteroids, yelling out, "See? See?" He then does not score for the rest of the tournament, content.

8. The First Citizens of Contingency
Several team members come in on red-eye flights the night before and arrive tired and confused. It becomes apparent they think they are playing CO Trash when Mike Bentley negs The Anecdote of the Jar with Road Rash, the old motorcycle racing game.

9. The Way a Ghost Dissolves
Negs every geo question with an excited "Is this Texas?"

10. Speculative Hipsters
Mike Cheyne spends entire tournament noting that he is doing just as well as Matt Bollinger. Both finish with exactly one tossup.

11.Great Unaffected Vampires
After 0ing a hard linguistics bonus, Ian realizes he should have been listening to whatever it was Guy wouldn't stop talking about last year.

12. A Tall Man Executes a Jig
Stephen Liu becomes confused when he realizes that he is unexpectedly more "street" than Charlie Rosenthal.

13. The Great Slime Kings
Hey, wait, this is just Michigan, right?

14t. Autobiography of a Lungworm and Academicus Anemicus
Both finish with one win after Charlie Dees shows up and plays with Hang and Martin. Jerry Vinikurov gets wind of this and chases him off with a bunch of angry but witty remarks.

[Cheynem]

Only answering one tossup--man, that would be disappointing (disappointing--that's a word, Mike Sorice). Let's hope that the tossup I answer is on "zeppelins," at least, but man, how can you study for that stuff? It's harder than like film because nobody knows that. I guess I should have gone to a hippie Wiccan school to learn more.

[grapesmoker]

Whether John Lawrence wants to go Sanjuro-like tp destroy both mafias and establish his dominance in the process is unknown.

You're thinking of Yojimbo.

[Maxwell Sniffingwell]

Whether John Lawrence wants to go Sanjuro-like tp destroy both mafias and establish his dominance in the process is unknown.

You're thinking of Yojimbo.

Sanjuro's the dude from Yojimbo.

[Ike]

I find it hilarious that someone's trying to correct Jerry on art film

[grapesmoker]

Whether John Lawrence wants to go Sanjuro-like tp destroy both mafias and establish his dominance in the process is unknown.

You're thinking of Yojimbo.

Sanjuro's the dude from Yojimbo.

This is not at all clear. The two movies can be watched independently of each other, and although Sanjuro backreferences Yojimbo, they aren't necessarily the same character.

[grapesmoker]

I find it hilarious that someone's trying to correct Jerry on art film

I mean, I could be wrong about this. If there's an interview with Kurosawa or Mifune out there that says outright that they are the same character, then I guess I'd be wrong. But I'm not aware of any such information.

[Auroni]

You guys are both right. Sanjuro is his given name, and Yojimbo (Bodyguard) is the title he goes by in the movie of that name.

[grapesmoker]

You guys are both right. Sanjuro is his given name, and Yojimbo (Bodyguard) is the title he goes by in the movie of that name.

Sanjuro isn't his name; it's a pseudonym. It means something like "mulberry tree" if I remember right, so it's clearly not his real name. And again, they are not necessarily the same character. They could be, but I don't know of anything that points conclusively to this.

[Mechanical Beasts]

Whether John Lawrence wants to go Sanjuro-like tp destroy both mafias and establish his dominance in the process is unknown.

You're thinking of Yojimbo.

Sanjuro's the dude from Yojimbo.

Sanjuro's the dude from Sanjuro.

[Auroni]

Whether John Lawrence wants to go Sanjuro-like tp destroy both mafias and establish his dominance in the process is unknown.

You're thinking of Yojimbo.

Sanjuro's the dude from Yojimbo.

Sanjuro's the dude from Sanjuro.

Which I thought was, like, the sequel to Yojimbo

[grapesmoker]

Actually, even if they are the same person, my correction still holds, since the situation Mike describes (an intermediate playing two conflicting parties off each other) is, in fact, the very plot of Yojimbo.

Now suppose they are the same person? Are Mike Cheyne's true beliefs about Sanjuro, justified on the grounds that he is the same person as Yojimbo, knowledge? Please explain your opinion using a thought experiment involving Smith and Jones.

[Frater Taciturnus]

You guys are both right. Sanjuro is his given name, and Yojimbo (Bodyguard) is the title he goes by in the movie of that name.

Sanjuro isn't his name; it's a pseudonym. It means something like "mulberry tree" if I remember right, so it's clearly not his real name. And again, they are not necessarily the same character. They could be, but I don't know of anything that points conclusively to this.

Kuwabatake is mulberry tree because that is the plant he is looking at. Sanjuro means thirty years old. I'm pretty sure in Yojimbo he says he is Kuwabatake Sanjuro while using a different plant that he is looking at as his name in Sanjuro.

EDIT: CO Prediction: Gautam's team is all over the Japanese art film tossup.

[grapesmoker]

Which I thought was, like, the sequel to Yojimbo

It's not a "sequel" in the strictest sense of the word, any more than For a Few Dollars More is truly a sequel to A Fistful of Dollars (or than The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is a sequel to either of them). They're not consecutive storylines with recurring characters or anything like that (if you want to argue about it, it's not at all obvious that Clint Eastwood's character is the same person throughout Leone's trilogy). A thematic sequel, perhaps, but not a sequel the way The Empire Strikes Back is the sequel to Star Wars.

[Skepticism and Animal Feed]

A sick Bruce shows up at the tournament for a crucial final game against the Weiner team. Like Kirk Gibson in 1988, Bruce has one buzz in him and uses it to one-line a common link tossup on members of the Horthy family. However, upon doing so, he promptly collapses and is bedridden for several weeks. A distressed Seth Teitler can only say "wa-wa."

I don't know if this is still the case, but the Wikipedia article on Magdalena von Horthy used to have a fairly long section that consisted of nothing but speculation as to why she was attracted to Miklos Horthy and decided to marry him. It concluded that she must have been enthralled by his stories of sailing the world.

[TheKingInYellow]

Wikipedia:

Purgly and Horthy met thanks to fortune. Not only did the uniform made Miklós Horthy an arresting man - he travelled all around the world, and had an ability to tell stories about distant lands colourfully. The affection was mutual, and Horthy felt he had found someone valuable.

[Gautam]

Alls I know is that Sanjuro is the name the dude uses in Yojimbo. I don't know anything about the movie Sanjuro.

I'm sorry, Geez.

[MicroEStudent]

Alls I know is that Sanjuro is the name the dude uses in Yojimbo. I don't know anything about the movie Sanjuro.

I'm sorry, Geez.

Our long national nightmare is over.

My prediction: One bonus will share at least two answers with a bonus from last week's VETO.

[Mike Bentley]

Alls I know is that Sanjuro is the name the dude uses in Yojimbo. I don't know anything about the movie Sanjuro.

I'm sorry, Geez.

Our long national nightmare is over.

My prediction: One bonus will share at least two answers with a bonus from last week's VETO.

I hope it's a math calc bonus on Canadian tax codes.