Resisting one-upmanship

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Muriel Axon
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Resisting one-upmanship

Post by Muriel Axon »

I don't quite know how to articulate this, but: As a community, I think we could be a lot better at resisting the temptation to one-up each other with obscure references in casual conversation. My impression is that, at least if you're clever and funny enough about it (rather than just annoying), this behavior is part of how you build up the sense that you're a cool and interesting person in this community (in which case I've failed). I've often found it hard to admit that I don't know something that everybody knows and easier to just nod along, or look it up on my phone and pretend I knew what people were talking about the whole time. To admit to not knowing something can feel like losing face, as if the competition were still going outside the game room.

While it's far from openly hostile, I think this kind of behavior, especially at ordinary practices, is something that contributes to quizbowl's (deserved) reputation of being forbidding to new players. Even as a more experienced player, I've often felt left out or inadequate in quizbowl settings, and these feelings of inadequacy have prodded me to reproduce a lot of these ways of talking myself. In the past, I've been the sort of person who one day learns some fun academic fact and the next day treats it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, with an implied disdain toward anyone who doesn't know it. I've tried to stamp that sort of talking and I don't think I've fully succeeded. I'm sorry to anyone who I've excluded or diminished this way.

I would suggest that this behavior contributes to difficulty creep. We get an exaggerated sense of what people know because people don't want to admit that they don't know something.

I don't want to speculate beyond my experience, but I also wonder if there's a gendered aspect to this behavior.

I don't blame anyone personally here. We're all smart people and we like to talk and joke about the things we know, many of which are interesting and worth talking and joking about. I think that's fine, but I get the sense that sometimes we do so with the intent of looking smart, which doesn't strike me as virtuous. Or I guess, I wish we could create the sort of culture where people really feel comfortable saying, "I've never heard of that -- can you tell me more?"

EDIT: The "we" in this post is not meant to be an all-encompassing "all of us." You can judge for yourself whether you belong in that "we" or not.
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The King's Flight to the Scots
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Re: Resisting one-upmanship

Post by The King's Flight to the Scots »

I really like this post - the fact-naming is one of the first things I've seen non-quizbowlers express surprise at when they enter a quizbowl setting. Often it can feel like everyone knows everything and you're left out. Asking "Hey, what is that, tell me more" when someone mentions a fact you don't know is a good, small way we can put people at ease.
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Re: Resisting one-upmanship

Post by Auks Ran Ova »

I also agree with this sentiment, especially the idea of normalizing asking stuff like "I've never heard of that -- can you tell me more?" We often say stuff like "quizbowl is about learning", and this is a great way to put that idea into practice while also decreasing the alienation that hyper-referential conversations can create.
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Re: Resisting one-upmanship

Post by alexdz »

I went to high school in the era just before good quizbowl happened in Missouri. My entire HS experience was largely on bad-to-mediocre questions, the kind where "learning" more was basically just binary association of title-author or achievement-president. I remember my first few practices in college were almost overwhelming in the department of "wait, people actually know this stuff?" And I wasn't learning much QB canon knowledge in my classes (linguistics and sociology major), so my previous way of improvement (just being a good student and general consumer of news/events) basically stalled as a viable option.

Had I not had teammates and fellow people in the circuit (shoutout to the fine folks at Truman State, WashU, Missouri S&T, and other Missouri regulars) that welcomed me into their little quizbowl family, I imagine I would have quit. I've been to a lot of events, both QB and non-QB, where I stand around awkwardly because I'm new there and no one knows me. I usually end up eating solo, playing on my phone during lunch, etc. Sure, I could take the initiative and introduce myself to everyone and forcibly network, but I think we as a community need to do a much better job of reaching out to new faces rather than expecting everyone to ask us for help. People are sometimes shy or introverted and don't feel comfortable approaching random competitors to ask about questions they just heard.

Also: I know in the past I've been guilty of describing quizbowl games as "showing off what you know." After reading this, I think I'm going to be more conscious of that language, because I think it contributes to this idea that the game is ultimately about "being a person who knows things" rather than "being a person who is interested in learning more things."
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