Quite Possibly One of the FUNNIEST Things I Have Seen EVER

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Jeremy Gibbs Paradox
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Quite Possibly One of the FUNNIEST Things I Have Seen EVER

Post by Jeremy Gibbs Paradox »

Well it's actually two things. One is this with the accompanying description:

http://www.amazon.com/Titanic-Second-Vo ... 480&sr=1-1

The second is the letter he sent our general books manager wanting to know if we'd carry it in the store. Among other things, he lists the book as "Starring" various characters, as if they were actors. If I can get my hands on a copy of it, I'll share it here.
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vcuEvan
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Post by vcuEvan »

Book Description
It's a race against time. Since the first Titanic had sailed the North Atlantic back in April 14,th 1912. Since then, people all over the world love talking about the beautiful Ocean liner the Titanic. They talk about how beauiful the Vessel was. Scientists would explore the ship that is laying on the Ocean floor of the Atlantic. Scientists had brought back items that lived in the sea for many years. Scientists had even brought back a part of the ship, but what about the ship itself? Scientists would say, it is very impossible to bring s ship that size back to the surface. But could they rebuild a ship that size again and make it look like the real Titanic? The tax payers would say, no, no way because it would cost them to much money, and it may hit another Iceberg and sink again. No one really talks about rebuilding the Titanic. Since the Titanic is gone it is just a memory or is it? In this story it had been done. The Titanic has been reborn. The race continues on.
Thats some good stuff.
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Post by Philip Marschall »

If you click on the author's name, you can find his other major work: The Long Orange Rides Again, A Comedy Western.

"This is a story about two ladies, Sharon Steven and Lemon Drop who teamed up to become outlaws. They would steal money, gold and silver from anyone and even steal from a dog or cat. It is a comedy in which two ladies go about it in a funny way and how they would steal, fight and the way they would fall in love and the way they won the West. The funniest part about this story is why they call themselves the long orange rides again."
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Post by Jeremy Gibbs Paradox »

Evidently in the letter to our general books manager, he also references that he has a detective story and a children's poem. Course, how you could tell the difference in a poem for adults and one for children by this guy given his level of literacy is completely beyond me.
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Post by Rothlover »

How has it even sold the 25 copies necessary to have 25 used and new? I'm hoping they are all just ARC's.
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Post by AKKOLADE »

amazon.com wrote: It's a race against time. Since the first Titanic had sailed the North Atlantic back in April 14,th 1912. Since then, people all over the world love talking about the beautiful Ocean liner the Titanic. They talk about how beauiful the Vessel was. Scientists would explore the ship that is laying on the Ocean floor of the Atlantic. Scientists had brought back items that lived in the sea for many years. Scientists had even brought back a part of the ship, but what about the ship itself? Scientists would say, it is very impossible to bring s ship that size back to the surface. But could they rebuild a ship that size again and make it look like the real Titanic? The tax payers would say, no, no way because it would cost them to much money, and it may hit another Iceberg and sink again. No one really talks about rebuilding the Titanic. Since the Titanic is gone it is just a memory or is it? In this story it had been done. The Titanic has been reborn. The race continues on.
I was expecting this to be not as bad as the "WWE fights the terrorists!" book. I am now officially torn.
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Jeremy Gibbs Paradox
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Post by Jeremy Gibbs Paradox »

OH SNAP!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-r ... 1OC4FJZ5LE

Third review on the page I think gives you why there are 25 used copies of this thing.
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Post by vcuEvan »

This book really does have literary merit though. The capitalized Iceberg represents a God as fearful as he is just. And the subtle but stinging attack on the unwillingness of the "taxpayers" to raise the sleeping behemoth is one of a kind.
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Post by Jeremy Gibbs Lemma »

well the short story sounds pretty funny
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Post by vcuEvan »

Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris Burnett Dorris
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Post by WordUpThome »

THIS FINE STORY REMINDS ME OF THE COLUMNISTS WHO DOUBTED I COULD RISE ABOVE MY 2005 SEASON

AS THEY WERE BOTH RAISED FROM THE BOTTOM AND ONCE AGAIN SHOCKED THE WORLD JIM THOME IS MUCH LIKE THE MAGNIFICIENT SHIP THE TITA

TITANTIC
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Post by Mr. Kwalter »

How original...
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Post by Rothlover »

I wonder how much the movie rights are.
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Post by cvdwightw »

I think the best part is that it's 68 pages. It's clear the author can't put a paragraph together, and this is going on for 68 pages? Are there pictures? Blank pages? Comedy "about the author" pages? Someone who wants to waste money needs to get this as a neg award.
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Post by DumbJaques »

I am very sorry to have wasted my money on this book - which also incidently contains another short story about a crashed nuclear satellite spreading toxic waste through a cemetary - causing various tombstone angels/ gargoyles / monsters- whatever- to come to life and proceed to murder the local population.
Book just went from zero to hero!
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Post by Stained Diviner »

It's a vanity press with a lot of important books by intelligent people.
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the return of AHAN
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Post by the return of AHAN »

Say! I could write a book about the evils of slaughtering teams in middle school scholastic bowl and publish it with these, ahem, OTHER important tomes!
:lol:
Keep up the good work, David. Those previews were real winners!
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Post by DumbJaques »

I am religiously endowed.

As near as I can tell, this is the general gist of The Broken Code:

-God and Religion don't ever mix
-Scientists ate truth
-This book will stop the world?????
-It is a bazaar story
-Are you ready tooooo jump to light speed?
-Frank's priest was jacking Frank's wife (and, ostensibly, still is)
-We are in an intergalactic war?
-Evil has stealth capability
-This book is a time machine
-Dante = arsonist
-Jesus founded ABBA
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Post by Matt Weiner »

DumbJaques wrote:I am religiously endowed.

As near as I can tell, this is the general gist of The Broken Code:

-God and Religion don't ever mix
-Scientists ate truth
-This book will stop the world?????
-It is a bazaar story
-Are you ready tooooo jump to light speed?
-Frank's priest was jacking Frank's wife (and, ostensibly, still is)
-We are in an intergalactic war?
-Evil has stealth capability
-This book is a time machine
-Dante = arsonist
-Jesus founded ABBA
You are educated stupid, indoctrinated evil,
and can't even acknowledge that a mother
and baby are the same age - on opposite
corners of a Cubic Creation Principle - for
Truth in Opposites contradict a god entity.
Evil educators suppressCubic Creation and
preach evil singularity to dumb students -
dispossessing students of ratiocinate mind.
WORD students serve Nature best if dead.
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Post by cvdwightw »

More important books (just follow one of Reinstein's links and substitute these numbers for the one in the link):
3277
4627
28724
38557
43585

Again, this is just a small subset.
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth
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Post by pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth »

WordUpThome wrote:THIS FINE STORY REMINDS ME OF THE COLUMNISTS WHO DOUBTED I COULD RISE ABOVE MY 2005 SEASON

AS THEY WERE BOTH RAISED FROM THE BOTTOM AND ONCE AGAIN SHOCKED THE WORLD JIM THOME IS MUCH LIKE THE MAGNIFICIENT SHIP THE TITA

TITANTIC
yea ok jerkdick the only thing you have in common with the titanic is that leo dicaprio was on you like all the time cause you a gay
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WordUpThome
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Post by WordUpThome »

KYLE FARNSWORTH WHY DO YOU NOT ENJOY FINE LITERATURE SUCH AS THIS STORY

AND THE DA VINCI CODE

AND ARE YOU MY MOTHER
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Post by Tegan »

I liked this story better when it was Dirk Pitt racing the Russians and Obi Wan Kenobi played a survivor.
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Post by grapesmoker »

There is a good case to be made for Soviet-style censorship from this. I think it should be legal to beat these people to death with their own products.

Also, hello new signature...
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Post by cvdwightw »

I can take the Free Preview...and delete the P to make it a Free Review:
The Broken Code's Free Preview wrote:What now? More insanities?... Not much wisdom here!
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Post by xXWinter_FoXXx »

I think we need Evan to straighten this guy out.
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