Is this the most pathetic post ever?

[zotlbusy]

Almost certainly not, but it does deserve special mention:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/quizbowl/message/15299

I'm sure it will be topped, but until we have anything better I ask you to take this under consideration for "most desperate bid for attention this year." And let me just say that yes, I do think that anyone who can clear 70 ppg at a CBI regionals (against such worthy opponents, on such demanding questions) certainly merits recognition. But to blow one's own horn in this way is ... I was going to say "Pickrellesque," but "pathetic" and "desperate" will suffice.

[The Time Keeper]

When I read the topic I was expecting to see a link to this: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/quizbowl/message/6652

Also, what the hell is wrong with you, Mueller?

[dtaylor4]

dolemite, i hope that your post wasn't a joke. if it was, it was out of line. if it wasn't then nevermind

[solonqb]

I don't know about a desperate bid for attention but as far as personal insecurity goes the last two paragraphs of this one take the cake.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/quizbowl/message/15262

He expects expelled players to moderate. Riiiight.

[The Time Keeper]

dolemite, i hope that your post wasn't a joke. if it was, it was out of line. if it wasn't then nevermind

what

[dtaylor4]

dolemite, i hope that your post wasn't a joke. if it was, it was out of line. if it wasn't then nevermind

what

the link you put up (in my opinion) was someone actually pleading for his life, and i saw no tie-in to the previous post on this site

[Dan Greenstein]

I agree with DaGeneral here. Post 6652 was a serious cry for help, no matter how funny it sounds now, 3 1/2 years later.

The other two are serious ego trips that require you to point and laugh.

[Jeremy Gibbs Paradox]

I agree with DaGeneral here. Post 6652 was a serious cry for help, no matter how funny it sounds now, 3 1/2 years later.

The other two are serious ego trips that require you to point and laugh.

Are you people high, or do you just not remember how awful a human being Goss was/is? The reason his post is funny and pathetic and self-serving is because assuming a plane WERE to hit the LOC, what the hell was the quizbowl Yahoo! message board going to do about it? Intercept the plane? There was no reason the board had to be informed about it at that moment for any reason. It was totally in keeping with Goss' tendency to make himself out to be the most pathetic person who needed our pity imaginable (see his post from earlier that summer about him cutting at his wrists with plastic dinner ware). Andy Goss was to that region every bit an infantile individual as Jason Mueller has been to the MidWest recently (as Mr. Mueller's GROSSLY unsportsmanlike conduct upon losing this year at RCT showed) and none are worthy of defense.

Sean Phillips
Who does not often post here, and when I do, it's for good reason.

[AKKOLADE]

Where is Mueller's "tornado victims are morons, show me Jeopardy!" post?

[Matt Weiner]

Andy Goss was to that region every bit an infantile individual as Jason Mueller has been to the MidWest recently (as Mr. Mueller's GROSSLY unsportsmanlike conduct upon losing this year at RCT showed) and none are worthy of defense.

At least you didn't find out about what was going on that day by checking your e-mail after class and finding Goss's post. Lucky me, I'll have that one flashbulbed in for a while.

Do elaborate on Jar Jar's antics for us.

[Matt Weiner]

Where is Mueller's "tornado victims are morons, show me Jeopardy!" post?

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/quizbowl/message/12511

[jonpin]

Andy Goss was to that region every bit an infantile individual as Jason Mueller has been to the MidWest recently (as Mr. Mueller's GROSSLY unsportsmanlike conduct upon losing this year at RCT showed) and none are worthy of defense.

At least you didn't find out about what was going on that day by checking your e-mail after class and finding Goss's post. Lucky me, I'll have that one flashbulbed in for a while.

Do elaborate on Jar Jar's antics for us.

After Pittsburg St beat Mizzou in the losers' bracket match, in some order, the following things happen: Mueller shouts "MOTHERFUCKER!" and throws a chair, then proceeds to kick it around the room and curse a bit more, then storms out of the room, yelling "Thank God I'm going to grad school someplace other than Missouri!" a sentiment shared no doubt by the entire state of Missouri. He probably would've gotten kicked out of the tournament, if he hadn't just been eliminated.

[Dan Greenstein]

Where is Mueller going to grad school?

[Rothlover]

hopefully Gulag U

[QuizbowlPostmodernist]

Yahoo group archives seem to be down, but it should be noted that this is almost a year to the day that Jason Mueller wrote in message 13974:

Ouch. It's times like these when you realize that there are more
important things in life than quizbowl and that there are much worse
things that could happen than losing a tournament (as I just did).

Best wishes,

Jason Mueller

in response to an post mentioning that a quizbowler was in a coma.

P.S. Message 12181 would be the "I'm not going to ACF Nationals but I wrote a song parody so you'd all think about me while you are in Atlanta" post.

[NotBhan]

I'd have to say the aforementioned song parody (#12181) was far worse than either the tornado message or the one from a couple of days ago. I can't get to the song parody at present, but I remember it being pretty cringeworthy. The tornado one wasn't bad at all. As for Goss's post from September 2001, I don't think it really qualifies as "pathetic" so much as melodramatic -- plus you have to know the guy and the background to appreciate it as such.

[QuizbowlPostmodernist]

I'd have to say the aforementioned song parody (#12181) was far worse than either the tornado message or the one from a couple of days ago. I can't get to the song parody at present, but I remember it being pretty cringeworthy.

Folks,

Since I'm not going to ACF Nationals but still wanted to contribute,
I wrote a song parody for the tournament. My apologies to JD and
Luda.

Welcome to Atlanta
A Parody by Jason Mueller
Saurabh (TD) Vishnubhakat feat. Tom Waters

[Waters]
Yeah, Welcome to Atlanta, ACF Nationals
Back to the buzzin' and scorin' the bos', there's a freshman packin'
Benet's
A sound from the Zee, who is it?
I would happen to know, as mod-er-a-tor
Who did it?, it was me I suppose
TD in stat room and Waters on the all-time-team
Buzzin' down packet, scorin' six-forty
I split ya spleen, as matter' fact I split ya team
No blood on the thumbs, gotta keep it so my buzzes is clean
I get the Judge, mods see me flick my buzz
I'm allergic to CBI "crappy bonus, inc"
Buzz Buzz, Freeburg, do away with the neg
NAQT needs much better editeg
Did you forget your buzzin' manners, I play with banners
Tom Waters, Super Player when I press the buzzer
The Wolverine scores ten points, bonus is come
I won't stop until I'm won as much as Mich-i-gun
I buzz in with the red Zeecraft, you're plaques are bogus
So I stripped them off the wall
Waiting for my prompt to answer bonus parts all
You rackin' up points, I'm big scorer like pancakes, stackin' 'em up
In fact I'm Subashin' 'em up, dominatin' the buzz
I get all twenty TUs, scores that's what's up
Runnin' in the answers right, runnin' better than aquaduct
bu-u-u-u-uz-in.. what

[Chorus]
[TD]
Yo, Yo.. Yo.. Yo, Yo,
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we buzz on lead-ins like every day
Tossups, bonus, hear buzzers buzzin'
And matches don't stop 'til eight in the mornin'
[Waters]
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we buzz on lead-ins like every day
Tossups, bonus, hear buzzers buzzin'
And matches don't stop 'til eight in the mornin'

[TD]
Now the matches don't start 'til I walk in
And I usually don't leave until my team wins
But in the mean-time, in between time
You buzz yo thing, I'll buzz mine
I been playin' the buzz here since '83
Since Tom Waters was at Em-o-ry
More buzz than bad beer, I do not have fear
If you was playin', you was buzzin' to homie Bhan-i
I'm the MBP, Most Buzzerous Player
Make my own rules, tournament director
Monday night, set up bracket
Tuesday night, I'm up in the study room, eyein' packets
Wednesday, I'm at my big exam
Thursday, buzz clean, and set up stat program
Friday, registration with Steve Webb, at the Center is where you can
find me
Saturday, is all the playin' fo' brainin', you can find me workin' as
TD
Sunday, is when I release the stats
Cause next April we be at it again, Holla!

[Chorus 2x]

I hope everyone likes it and that Saurabh and Tom actually perform it.

Jason Mueller

[Rothlover]

Does anyone else get physically sick reading that "parody"?

[solonqb]

In his tornado post, he imagine QBTV complete with scouting reports. I shudder to think what he imagines as the QB equivalent of a 40 time. Perhaps competitive reflex testing with pens?

[AKKOLADE]

In his tornado post, he imagine QBTV complete with scouting reports. I shudder to think what he imagines as the QB equivalent of a 40 time. Perhaps competitive reflex testing with pens?

I'm pretty certain he mentioned those somewhere as part of his "training."

[steven-lamp]

Oh my god. I read about 4 lines of that song parody and then involuntarily scrolled to the end of the page and mashed alt+f4. That's pretty sad. I think that guy needs some intoxicating substance such as pot or alcohol and a girl to share it with... That might fix some of his problems. For a little while. Maybe. Or not.

[G_Unit]

What Mueller needs is a swift kick in the nuts. Followed by several more. We need to make certain that he does not reproduce, or even have the opportunity. Then, once that is complete, kick him again for good measure.

[Dan Greenstein]

I think that guy needs some intoxicating substance such as pot or alcohol and a girl to share it with... That might fix some of his problems. For a little while. Maybe. Or not.

He is one of those fundamentalist Christian types who swears off alcohol, drugs, and sex before marriage. Plus, as seen in the intervening post, we do not want him to have a chance to breed, although I recommend a less violent approach.

[steven-lamp]

Well, I hate to be one to "pick and choose" sins to scrutinize, but pride is just as dangerous/bad than alcohol/pot and excessive womanizing. Maybe he just needs to stop playing. After all, it's pretty easy to realize that quizbowl is an insipid, pedantic, repetitive activity that has a comparatively small test of real knowledge.... that's just my opinion, anyway. *braces for slaps/flames*

[Skepticism and Animal Feed]

Is going down something the yahoo group does occasionally, or is this perhaps something that could last a while?

I'd feel terrible if I didn't get to read the post alluded to in the first post.

[QuizbowlPostmodernist]

Is going down something the yahoo group does occasionally, or is this perhaps something that could last a while?

I'd feel terrible if I didn't get to read the post alluded to in the first post.

All the regions now have the individual RR stats up. I saw three
people with 70 plus for the RR: me, Kevin Roth of Michigan State,
and Andrew Moore from Georgia.
Also, as for Regions 3 and 4, there were 14 total teams, 5 from
Region 3, and 9 from Region 4. Maybe one of the regions didn't have
any applicants for host or maybe CBI decided that 5 teams in a
region wasn't very good and decided to make the temporary merger.

Jason Mueller

[solonqb]

Look on the bright side. RM has finally found the perfect song for their boombox.

[Skepticism and Animal Feed]

How disapointing. That post wasn't nearly as pathetic as some of the other ones reposted or alluded to here.

[Captain Sinico]

Man, so what the hell is up with Yahoo! anyway? It's been down each of the last four days.

MaS

[NotBhan]

How disapointing. That post wasn't nearly as pathetic as some of the other ones reposted or alluded to here.

Yeah, if the thing got all built up before you saw it, it would look pretty bland, kind of like that Buster the bunny meeting the lesbians thing.

In this case, it requires knowing that (a) Jason has a history of trumpeting his own scores and accomplishments, (b) Jason has often implied that he has a quizbowl skill level far out of proportion with reality, (c) scoring 70 a game at midwestern CBI Regionals isn't the same as doing it at ACF Regionals against stronger teams, (d) Jason has made past disparaging comments about the weakness of Mizzou teammates, (e) Jason has supposedly not always been the most amenable and gentlemanly fellow, (f) he has a history of posting about things like improving thumb strength by clicking a pen or opening the door of a pickup over and over, and (g), (h), and (i), which I'm forgetting. Essentially, there's a history of selfishness and self-aggrandization in his posts which in this case is the aquifer from which the patheticity springeth. Like with Goss's post, the humor and/or patheticity is one of those context-dependent things, like a comedy of (lack of) manners. But I agree with Bruce -- and given its stand-alone power, I've got to go with the song parody. Nearly everyone has written or posted something in their life which they'd just as soon expunge, but that one ... jeeez, he can't even claim to have been drunk or stoned when writing it, so that's got to be the winner.

--RD

P.S. I should note that I've never had any unfriendly dealings with Herr Mueller -- on the couple of occasions when we've met, I don't remember him being impolite or anything like that.

[Scipio]

One of those you forgot was (g) He has in the past had an unfortunate habit of referring to those who might have posted something which stepped on his delicate religious sensibilities as "amoral atheists" (though that might have been enveloped by point <e>). Another was (h) he once had the temerity to suggest he should be considered as an ACF editor despite admitting - and I'm not joking here - having never played ACF before, apparently with the firm conviction that he could master the subtleties of ACF packet construction with the greatest of ease in time to serve as one of thre helmsmen for the organisation. The pattern emerges that Mueller has an ego far more robust than his dubious skills at the game might merit; having met him, I can also firmly assert that this ego is not based on other factors, such as inimitable fashion style or dazzling good looks, either.

I can say, though, that "pathetic" implies that he's desperate to have to community validate his prowess, when in fact I'm fairly sure that he needs no such validation. He doesn't seem to be looking to have his status as quizbowl divinity confirmed; rather, he's merely operating under the assumption that everyone already recognises his powers and is actually interested in his mighty deeds. In that, he's more delusional than sad; the Goss post clearly takes the cake as most "pathetic".

Also, crazy props for use of the word "cringe-worthy".

[No Sollositing On Premise]

I have never met or spoken to the guy in person, but all that I know of him are stories and some of his posts in the sports forum including (last year regarding college basketball) "MIZZOU is the top clutch team in the nation." He seems to have at least something of an emactruman/stpickrell/rtmohr infatuation with his own state, however much he discredits his teammates and apparently blames them for every loss or bad game.

[STPickrell]

I have never met or spoken to the guy in person, but all that I know of him are stories and some of his posts in the sports forum including (last year regarding college basketball) "MIZZOU is the top clutch team in the nation." He seems to have at least something of an emactruman/stpickrell/rtmohr infatuation with his own state, however much he discredits his teammates and apparently blames them for every loss or bad game.

I get paid for it. :-)

[jonpin]

How disapointing. That post wasn't nearly as pathetic as some of the other ones reposted or alluded to here.

Yeah, if the thing got all built up before you saw it, it would look pretty bland, kind of like that Buster the bunny meeting the lesbians thing.

In this case, it requires knowing that (a) Jason has a history of trumpeting his own scores and accomplishments, (b) Jason has often implied that he has a quizbowl skill level far out of proportion with reality, (c) scoring 70 a game at midwestern CBI Regionals isn't the same as doing it at ACF Regionals against stronger teams, (d) Jason has made past disparaging comments about the weakness of Mizzou teammates, (e) Jason has supposedly not always been the most amenable and gentlemanly fellow, (f) he has a history of posting about things like improving thumb strength by clicking a pen or opening the door of a pickup over and over, and (g), (h), and (i), which I'm forgetting. Essentially, there's a history of selfishness and self-aggrandization in his posts which in this case is the aquifer from which the patheticity springeth. Like with Goss's post, the humor and/or patheticity is one of those context-dependent things, like a comedy of (lack of) manners.

More examples of Mueller quotes/posts and quotes/posts about him can be found on Rolla's website: http://web.umr.edu/~cbowl/jason.html

But I agree with Bruce -- and given its stand-alone power, I've got to go with the song parody. Nearly everyone has written or posted something in their life which they'd just as soon expunge, but that one ... jeeez, he can't even claim to have been drunk or stoned when writing it, so that's got to be the winner.

Yeah, that was painful. He also threatened to write "This Buzz".