You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

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AKKOLADE
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You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by AKKOLADE »

Here are ways in which you can do your best to ruin any productivity that could result from a post-tournament discussion, which I've noticed over the past few years of, you know, reading practically every single post on this damn site. But a lot of these happened in the past 12 hours, which means I'm going to tell you about it right now!

1) Complain endlessly about the subject of a question in a niche area of a small subject (typically, trash).

Oh boy, yes, let's have no one ever write up about THAT THING I HATE, one of the most notable GENRE OF THAT THING I HATEever, because it offends your sense of aesthetics. That is a good way to react to a tournament.

This problem also has its cousin, the niche academic subject. YOU LISTED KENZABURO OE'S THIRD MOST FAMOUS NOVEL AS HIS SECOND AND HIS SECOND AS HIS THIRD MOST FAMOUS UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

2) "This tournament was too easy because I answered many questions early."

Warning: your ppg must be at least 50 to make this statement. You notice how players who suck never make this statement? Do you know why? Because tournaments aren't actually that easy. But I guess if you keep doing well at an activity, well, clearly there's no possible way you're actually good Nope, someone else must have screwed up along the line!

The most perfect tournament ever would be one where all the players sit in a room while the moderator, Ed Powers, speaks in tongues for 10 minutes per tossup. Each player may buzz in and answer, but each answer is incorrect. No one will get questions correct, thus making this a truer test of knowledge. At the end of the round, which consists of 1,829 questions and lasts a month, a sinkhole will open beneath the building in which it is held.

3) I DEMAND SATISFACTION

I once went to a bad tournament. I am still angry that the tournament director did not post a gif of them performing self-flagellation within a half hour of the end of the tournament. JERK!

And that guy even had the audacity to learn from his mistakes he made and improve in the future. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BEEN EVEN MORE DEMANDING AND COMPLETELY SCARED HIM AWAY FROM QUIZ BOWL FOREVER UGH WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE

4) There was one bonus in this tournament that was a lot easier than another bonus in this tournament!

From this point forward, I will complain about how I once had a paper cut and then tried to eat an orange. THAT THING STUNG FOR AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES UGH.

5) Demanding stats, or anything, within like, 24 hours of a tournament ending.

You seriously can't wait until Tuesday to see ppbs? Really? You can't? I think you can. No, I really think you can. I believe you can live until Thursday without ppbs, at a minimum. You can.

6) IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EASYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

No man, seriously, the papilla of pyramid comes up all the time. Really, it's just basic. Learned it in my first day of Bio 101 in "school that only exists in my own mind." Trust me: if you don't know this, you can hardly consider yourself a human being, let alone a quiz bowler.

7) Just being angry in general.

yeah yeah we get it you're no jerry vinokurov kid
Fred Morlan
PACE President, 2018-19
International Quiz Bowl Tournaments, co-owner
University of Kentucky CoP, 2017
hsqbrank manager, NAQT writer (former subject editor), former hsqb Administrator/Chief Administrator, 2012 NASAT TD

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Cheynem
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Re: You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by Cheynem »

Fred, as usual, is spot-on here.
Mike Cheyne
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lasercats
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Re: You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by lasercats »

This should probably be sticky-fied.
Maggie Larkin
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University of Oklahoma '11

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dtaylor4
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Re: You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by dtaylor4 »

Fred has won quizbowl discussion forever.

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AKKOLADE
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Re: You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by AKKOLADE »

8) I WILL CONSIDER ONLY MY OWN NEEDS WHEN DISCUSSING A TOURNAMENT

What's that, a couple of easy tournaments to open the year and allow less talented teams actually enjoy doing reasonably well at an activity on subjects that are pretty accessible?

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW BIG MY PPB IS IT IS MASSIVE AND I MADE IT HUGE FROM TUGGING. I MUST ANSWER AS MANY HARD QUESTIONS AS I CAN AND IF YOU DO NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE ANSWER LINE MEANS WELL I GUESS YOU JUST SUCK AND THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS ACTIVITY TO APPEAL TO YOU ARGH

well time to have an orange

MY PAPER CUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

9) Not offering to help.

Well, I could have tried to avert this particular crisis three months ago, but I didn't. AND NOW I GET TO YELL AT PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY :party: :party: :party:

10) Not accepting help from qualified people.

Oh my gosh always accept offer of helps from people who know what to do in quiz bowl
Fred Morlan
PACE President, 2018-19
International Quiz Bowl Tournaments, co-owner
University of Kentucky CoP, 2017
hsqbrank manager, NAQT writer (former subject editor), former hsqb Administrator/Chief Administrator, 2012 NASAT TD

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Ondes Martenot
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Re: You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by Ondes Martenot »

This is probably a good place for me to apologize for making the absurd demand that ACF Fall be eliminated. This year's set was, despite an error here or there, a well written tournament. By saying such a ridiculous thing I essentially minimized all the hard work the editors put in and reduced the overwhelmingly positive experience people had playing this set to next to nothing. I let my residual anger from a disappointing tournament get in the way of me making any sort of sense. I will make sure that nonsense like this doesn't happen again.
Aaron Cohen, Bergen County Academies '08, RPI '12, NYU-???, NAQT writer, HSAPQ writer, PACE writer

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No Rules Westbrook
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Re: You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by No Rules Westbrook »

I don't know...I gotta say, I think a lot of these complaints, when they're troublesome, just come from people who lack perspective.

I do share an annoyance with complaining about niche subjects and endlessly dwelling on one or two clue decisions, as opposed to taking a global view of a tourney. But, the other things just kind of come with the territory - sometimes, people are wrong when they state those things, but that's usually just because they don't have the right frames of reference to make a decent judgment call.
Ryan Westbrook, no affiliation whatsoever.

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Left here since birth...forgotten in the river of time...I've had an eternity to...ponder the meaning of things...and now I have an answer!

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Skepticism and Animal Feed
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Re: You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by Skepticism and Animal Feed »

Perhaps it's preferable that people complain about minute details: it might mean that the tournament in question lacks major systemic flaws.
Bruce
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Auroni
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Re: You Suck At Tournament Discussion And This Is Why

Post by Auroni »

Morraine Man wrote:Perhaps it's preferable that people complain about minute details: it might mean that the tournament in question lacks major systemic flaws.
Unless, of course, everyone manages to overlook a major systemic flaw because they are caught up in minutiae.
Auroni Gupta
UIUC
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