VCUO travel with John Lawrence -- the liveblog!!

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:08 am

Headed to VCU open with JL today, this will be good so I'll liveblog. From my phone so sorry for any mistakes.

edit: I should note im taking these horribly out of context, doctoring quotes etc to make it more funny

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:09 am

JL gets his torso patted down when he neglects to remove items from his shirt pocket.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:10 am

JL insists he did not neglect to remove it but it was in fact intentional. To support this, he references previous occasion where boarding pass fell in shoe and he couldn't find.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:10 am

JL looks at board, declares we are headed to gate aA11. Confidently strides toward concourse B.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:11 am

JL asks me to hand him bag of tropical mix due to it being on top shelf. Insists it was solely because I was closer.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:12 am

I go to the bathroom. Anything funny JL is doing now will be lost to history.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:24 am

I'm so awesome let me tell you about all these "paradigm shifts" I introduced to Yale Botticelli.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:28 am

The good ol days of an 09 guerrilla tournament at ict

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:45 am

Not about to spring for wifi so we will have a massive stories dump on landing.

UlyssesInvictus · Post by **UlyssesInvictus** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:54 am

I await with bated breath--surely we can fund a kickstarter to get Max wifi during the flight?

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:37 pm

And we're back, with JL realizing early on the flight that, for literally the first time in his life, he is wearing mismatched socks (one navy, one black, quelle horreur!)

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:42 pm

Later, I spill Coke all over. The flight attendant looks at me judgmentally and drawled "really?!" While I am leaning over and cleaning up, John gently admonishes to "keep your hair out of my cranberry juice!" Sadly, the warning comes too late as I have already grazed an ice cube.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:43 pm

I should note: the cause of the spill was excitement about a flashcard on an obscure Doris Lessing novel.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:46 pm

JL: My life dream is to be with a woman for whom I can bake French pastries.
Me: I'd eat anything you baked for me!
JL: yes, but you'd eat anything.

Benin Rebirth Party · Post by **Benin Rebirth Party** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:53 pm

Did anyone in security, flight attendants, or other people comment on the bow tie? Is he even wearing one right now?

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:55 pm

While waiting to disembark, JL turns off airplane mode on his phone and receives an email, which I reproduce here verbatim:

"We went and saw the Elgin marbles again today

Love
Daddy"

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:56 pm

No comments on bow tie. If you have to ask if he always wears one, then you don't know John Lawrence.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 1:57 pm

We are now at Atlanta airport, eating five guys. We elected to share a large regular fry. My burger has lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, ketchup, and mustard. JL has mayo, pickles, and grilled onions.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:01 pm

Photo attached.

Auroni · Post by **Auroni** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:08 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:...JL has mayo...

Distressing.

vinteuil · Post by **vinteuil** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:10 pm

Not eating with a knife and fork???

Grace · Post by **Grace** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:12 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:I'm so awesome let me tell you about all these "paradigm shifts" I introduced to Yale Botticelli.

I want to know about these too!

Mewto55555 wrote:JL: My life dream is to be with a woman for whom I can bake French pastries.
Me: I'd eat anything you baked for me!
JL: yes, but you'd eat anything.

After I ate multiple slices of John Lawrence's coconut cake last year, I told my mother that I was quitting school to become a professional food-digger, which is like a gold-digger except for food (obviously).

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:18 pm

While discussing Auroni Gupta, we finally come up with the perfect Star Wars mashup. It will be in our Tricon packet.

Gautam · Post by **Gautam** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:20 pm

They say Twitter had a blowout quarter because of the people tweeting about the world cup.

All these liveblogs for CO and VCUO parties are surely making hsquizbowl the next hottest social network amirite.

Post by **theMoMA** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:24 pm

This is wonderful.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:25 pm

Auroni wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:...JL has mayo...
Distressing.

Food scientist JL, indignantly: What?! Mayonnaise is the perfect burger condiment! It's primarily a hydrophobic lipid, so a bun coated in it will repel burger juices and not get soggy! The juices emulsify at the point where the burger meets the mayo, while the bun is unharmed. C'mon, Auroni, what are you even doing your masters in?!

A few seconds later: Wait, what is he doing his masters in?

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:26 pm

vinteuil wrote:Not eating with a knife and fork???

No, though as much-more-inept liveblogger Chris Ray failed to note, he did eat nachos at the CO barbecue with utensils.

Auroni · Post by **Auroni** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:34 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:
Auroni wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:...JL has mayo...
Distressing.
Food scientist JL, indignantly: What?! Mayonnaise is the perfect burger condiment! It's primarily a hydrophobic lipid, so a bun coated in it will repel burger juices and not get soggy! The juices emulsify at the point where the burger meets the mayo, while the bun is unharmed. C'mon, Auroni, what are you even doing your masters in?!

A few seconds later: Wait, what is he doing his masters in?

Equally-scientific counterpoint: when mayonnaise particles bind to receptors on the surface of taste bud cell membranes, an intracellular signaling cascade is triggered and excitatory neurons synapsing in the disgust and revulsion regions of the brain are activated.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:36 pm

On way to terminal C for next leg, we end up equidistant from both doors as they open. This prompts a five minute discussion about Buridan's ass, which only ends when we realize we should have remained in terminal D instead.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:38 pm

Our flight is leaving from gate D2 in a few hours. JL is concerned we won't be able to board, as we've both lost our eligibility.

AKKOLADE · Post by **AKKOLADE** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:44 pm

mayo on burgers is a war crime, this live blog is ok

Aaron's Rod · Post by **Aaron's Rod** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:10 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:Our flight is leaving from gate D2 in a few hours. JL is concerned we won't be able to board, as we've both lost our eligibility.

This is definitely my favorite part.

Post by **hydrocephalitic listlessness** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:34 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:JL has mayo, pickles, and grilled onions.

The ideal burger.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:36 pm

hydrocephalitic listlessness wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:JL has mayo, pickles, and grilled onions.
The ideal burger.

JL: If this an unsarcastic comment, though we have not conversed, I now like him.

Gautam · Post by **Gautam** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:46 pm

Does JL's laptop have a webcam? Can we install an eye-tracking script that'll record his ocular movements as he pages through the Gilt Groupe catalog on the free portion of the Delta wifi?

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:48 pm

JL is currently coaching me (at my urging) on the proper way to write this science tossup. What has this world come to?!?

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:50 pm

He also has no idea what he would be buying from Gilt Grupe.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:51 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:He also has no idea what he would be buying from Gilt Grupe.

"OH MY LORD! They do sell my preferred brand brand of bowtie really cheaply!"

Gautam · Post by **Gautam** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:55 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:He also has no idea what he would be buying from Gilt Grupe.
"OH MY LORD! They do sell my preferred brand brand of bowtie really cheaply!"

JL can thank me in the form of free baked goods whenever I show within a 20-mile radius of where he is.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:00 pm

"Look at this one, that's a beauty! This sale ends in 22 hours and 2 minutes; I think I might buy one."

Sadly, the computer has been shut without purchase as we prepare to board our second flight. The science tossup is finished.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:05 pm

Overheard an announcement asking MattBo to please come to the gate d2 podium. They probably want to congratulate him on his triple crown.

Edit: apparently it was a woman whose last name was Motbo or some such.

vinteuil · Post by **vinteuil** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:09 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:
hydrocephalitic listlessness wrote:
Mewto55555 wrote:JL has mayo, pickles, and grilled onions.
The ideal burger.
JL: If this an unsarcastic comment, though we have not conversed, I now like him.

This is all it takes to get John Lawrence to like me???

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:26 pm

Me: I guess my friends must just be smarter than yours, then.
JL: No, that's not possible.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:27 pm

"I should find a trash can. I just crumbled a peanut in my hand for no reason."

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:40 pm

Me: Yeah, Schindler's Lit wasn't too fantastically well-written.
JL: No. But you'll get better. And one day you'll write a CO lit. And I'll win it.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:57 pm

Left luggage at five guys had to sprint there and back I'm a buffoon. Am out of breath flight about to take off.

at your pleasure · Post by **at your pleasure** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 5:06 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:Me: I guess my friends must just be smarter than yours, then.
JL: No, that's not possible.

I do not know whose friends I need to meet more now.

Windows ME · Post by **Windows ME** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 5:28 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:Our flight is leaving from gate D2 in a few hours. JL is concerned we won't be able to board, as we've both lost our eligibility.

This is the best thing ever.

Benin Rebirth Party · Post by **Benin Rebirth Party** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 6:16 pm

Mewto55555 wrote:Overheard an announcement asking MattBo to please come to the gate d2 podium. They probably want to congratulate him on his triple crown.

He's also lost eligibility, so I presume all three of you were denied boarding, and had to take the flight from gate d1 instead.

Post by **Mewto55555** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 6:52 pm

We've arrived at hotel and have quite the backlog of stories!