and THAT's why.. you always leave a note. Taste the happy!
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Date: Mon, 16 Aug 1999 11:25:39 -0400 (EDT)
From: Andrew Peter Goss <
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Subject: QB: A Weekend in the Life of Philadelphia
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Well, as you might have expected, I was in Philly for the
Experiment, my first ever excursion to seemingly the most notorious
summer tournament in quizbowl. And, as you might have expected, I have
much to say about it. Rather than post anything general, though, I'll
focus on my own experience. Delete at your leisure.
The day began with a long car trip, where I rode up with
moderator-at-large Shawn Pickrell. It was an eventful car trip,
including a ten mile trip down the New Jersey Turnpike (don't ask).
Needless to say, we arrived late. When I finally found Williams Hall, I
was told the rest of my team hadn't arrived yet (not true, but I didn't
know what they looked like). Fortunately, all of this was slightly
irrelevant as we were locked out of the rooms (DOH!). This was one of
the few bureaucratic slip-ups, and it at least didn't put a damper on the
proceedings, so there you go. Oh by the way, I did find my teammates
(Kieran Wong of BU, Matt Dworkin at Penn, and Waichi Chan of NYU). I'm
going to take this opportunity to thank them for playing and putting up
with me.
Game 1: For obvious reasons, the tournament started with Round 12. That
put us against Three Boys and a Goy on a John Nam packet. At least, on
his team's packet. Even without Boy #3 Dan Fuller, the then-only-67%
Jewish team was a considerable force. The main problem with this match
was the buzzer set, which can best be described as being in severe need
of repair. This makes me feel even worse for ours being unavailable.
Anyway, our team went 1/4/3 and I went 1/2/0, which I need not tell you
wasn't enough. RESULT: Loss, 335-85.
Game 2: For less obvious reasons, the next round was Round 16. (Not that
it mattered, mind you, but it was funny that their schedule was
rearranged.) Anyway, that meant that we faced Smooth Operators
(Hamilton, Goodman, Colvin, Hayeslip) on Andy Wang's team's packet. We
used the same buzzer set as for the previous game. This buzzer set had
"UMCP" written on its travel box, so it was slight poetic justice that
they were forced to play us on it. Not that it mattered. It would have
been nice to stop after Question 3, as we were up 40-30 at the time.
Hey, after Question 6, we were only down 90-65. They then reeled off 190
unanswered points and never looked back. Our team did, however, go
2/4/0, and I went 0/3/0 to be team high scorer for the second straight
game. Again, not that it mattered. RESULT: Loss, 405-105.
Game 3: This time around, our opponents were Fouling Up Can Kill Us,
consisting of Adam Fine, Brian Goldenberg, Fred Bush, and Jacob "Das
Wunderkind" Mikanowski. This was on the House Prelim packet, with the
first tossup being on David Rittenhouse. Ah, science trash. By the way,
I was shut out in this game, primarily by Mikanowski, who went something
like 0/7/1. Our team, by contrast, went 1/1/2, with Waichi going 1/1/0.
Hmmm, I wonder how we did? RESULT: Loss, 340-55.
Game 4: The good news: the packet was written by Matt Hofer's team, so it
was reasonable. The bad news: Our opponents were merciless. The insane
fun was this time had against Vish 'n' Chips, consisting of Vishnu "Vish"
Jejjala and three other Maryland alumni, who went as Chips. Ken LaSala
was Chip Beall, the author of the worst sets of questions ever (yes, I'm
including the stuff I wrote). Mike Starsinic was Chip Lohmiller, a
flash-in-the-pan former Redskins placekicker. Jesse Molesworth rounded
out the team as Erik Estrada, who wasn't a "Chip", but a "CHiP". As you
can guess, the reason I'm not writing about the game was that we were
treated like jabronis. Two highlights, though, were my getting the
"Manos: The Hands of Fate" question (Manos is considered the worst movie
ever) and the "Count to five in Chinese" bonus. What made this second
part funny was Waichi's immediate question, "Do you want Mandarin or
Cantonese?" We gave both and got 30. The team went 0/5/0, and I led by
going 0/3/0. However, five tossups never beats a team like this.
RESULT: Loss, 360-120.
As I passed Colvin in the hallway, he asked me point-blank, "So
do you still think these questions are better than Yaphe's [from two
weeks ago]?" I told him that I did, and that these were more
consistently gettable, but less consistent from pack to pack. Which they
had been.
Game 5: This was a good packet, and a good match. Our opponents were
"Samer's Evil Twin" (a Penn Bowl reference), starring captain Michael
Brian Angel with cohorts Subash "Suby" Maddipoti, Jeremiah "Was a
Bullfrog" Thompson, and the replacement Schmidt, Chris Vicich. Tom
Chuck was moderating, and I dare say he is the best damned moderator on
the circuit today. At the half, we led 110-65 and wondered whether we
could keep it up. It wasn't happening. We did go 2/5/1, including my
1/3/0 performance with a power on Sydney Carton (yay!), but it wasn't
quite enough. By the way, before I forget, Kudos to Doug O'Neal and
his crew for that nice pack. RESULT: Loss, 270-190.
Then we went to lunch. Lunch was the Food Court, where I visited
a nice burger joint. We discussed the teams we had played so far as well
as our respective histories and programs. My teammates all told me I
knew too many people on the circuit, at which point I explained that
nearly everybody was from DC. We all agreed that Maryland teams kick
ass, and then returned for our next game.
Game 6: Our opponents for this game were Gundroppers, featuring Phil
Groce, Jeremy Horwitz, Joe Wright, and NYU's Ross Hooper. Waichi was
especially looking forward to this game. During lunch, Jeremy actively
seeked out somewhere to get drunk. All he could find was some beer,
which he promptly bought. He got back to Williams Hall, took a few sips,
then fumbled the container, causing a huge mess and a rather nasty beer
stain near the elevators. We heckled him for it. Questions were by the
Yale/Brown team. The highlight was Joe Wright powering "Twinkies" off of
the clue of failing the Turing test and exploding in 90 seconds. Sure.
We went 0/5/1, I went 0/3/0, and the results were respectable. RESULT:
Loss, 210-125.
Game 7: Our opponents this time around were Happiness is a Warm Buzzer (I
think that's a take-off on a Beatles White Album song), featuring VT's
1998-99 quasi-A-team (Dennis Loo, Roger Craig, Eliot "One L One T"
Brenner, and Ryan "BFD" Gunderson). Questions were presented by Steve
Lawrie's team, and were definitely the only thing that made the score as
close as it was. They weren't that bad, they were just weird. The team
was 1/5/0, and I was 1/2/0 to continue the pattern of being top dog on
the team. Not that that's important, but I'm just saying it because it's
my post, dammit! Like I said, you can delete this at any time! RESULT:
Loss, 205-155.
Game 8: It was time for the Eagles and Redskins to meet. Okay, maybe
not. But our opponents were Knobel Spice, with Rob Knobel, Cindy (sp?)
Pruss, a pair of sisters whose names were I think Raina and Rheanna
Weaver (they went as 11 and 12 for the tournament). Questions were by
Jason Arvey's crew Three Generations Under a Mattress, and they were good
and hard. They could have gotten worse, and I'm sure they were great for
top teams, but a pair of 0-7 squads were stumped. Moderator Tom Chuck
even considered bending the rules and giving each team an extra Lame, but
the players declined. Our team went 0/5/0 and survived ugly bonus
conversion, although we were helped by their four negs and 1.5 TUI for
the game. Waichi and I were both 0/2/0. And to top it all off, we
actually got a victory! RESULT: Win, 100-75.
Game 9: These questions were by Fouling Up Can Kill Us, which was
essentially Adam Fine and Brian Goldernberg. Our opponents were the
Post-Raphaelite Brotherhood, consisting of Tim Young, Edmund Schluessel,
Rick Grimes, and Rick Terpstra. This was an awful game from our
perspective, as they rattled off the first 10 tossups in a row to go up
325-(-10). Tim assured me he had received similar beating in his
career. I believe it... sort of. Anyway, the team woke up in the second
half and finished 1/2/2, with yours truly getting 1/1/0. You do the
math. RESULT: Loss, 425-50.
Game 10: Up next was the Basil II Fan Club, a team with Matt Hofer, Matt
Reeser, Tom Shields, and Tim Sullivan. The match was moderated by
Shawn Pickrell, who had his girlfriend doing scorekeeping. Yes, she was
with us for the entire trip. She's a very nice girl. By the way, as
cute as some dogs are, never go to pet a seeing-eye dog if they are in
their harness. The harness means they're on the job. Oh, as for the
game, it was painful. We played on Guy Jordan's packet, easily the
toughest I had heard so far in my _life_. I told Guy about this, and his
response was along the lines of, "I didn't think it was so hard." Yeah,
but you wrote it, Guy. Anyhow, the team went a nice 0/3/2, with Waichi
and I both going 0/1/0 to lead the team. That should tell you all you
need to know about this game. RESULT: Loss, 160-50.
Game 11: Yale Men, Brown Woman awaited us in the next game. The Yale men
were Ramin Fatehi, David Davies, Aaron Lichtig, and Thad Novak. The
Brown woman was an old friend of mine named Fran Bigman. The good news
is that our teams were of approximately equal talent in this game. The
bad news is that it was a Vishnu and Company packet. Joy. Our team
flunked bonus conversion 101 again, and it cost us the match. We went
0/4/0, with Waichi and me splitting the four tossups 0/2/0 each.
Surprisingly, this was almost enough. The final score should tell you
the rest. RESULT: Loss, 65-50.
Game 12: The last game of Day 1! Yay! We were playing Three Generations
Under a Mattress, a team of Samuel Bennett, Jason "Fezboy" Arvey, Matt
Kiefer, and Josh Levy. The packet was by Three Boys and a Goy, and it
was reasonable. Their team was very, very good. I would offhand say
that Andrew will have some good teammates at ACF, as if he needs them.
Josh had two powers in the first half, both of which he said were not
even in his specialties. Ah, the sweetest of sticks. They also told us
that they thought their packet was harder than most. No problem,
really. We won on it. Our team went 0/6/2 in this game, and I went
0/5/1, finally recording a neg. It didn't matter. RESULT: Loss, 265-115.
After the match, I was upset about the neg because I though I
could go the whole tournament without one. When I told Dave Hamilton
this, he wondered why anyone would want to go an entire tournament
without negging. The only reason I was trying is because it seems that
making All-Star sans a neg is the equivalent of pitching a no-hitter in
baseball. That would have been fun. Not that I had much of a chance at
All-Star, but hey.
That night, Waichi and I checked in to the hotel and made dinner
plans. We decided to eat at Shula's, within the University City
Sheraton. We dined alongside Shawn and his girlfriend. We had a
wonderful dinner, and a nice conversation, one which will not be repeated
here.
After dinner, we got a good night's sleep and prepared for the
next day. We saw that the "main" entrance to Williams Hall was locked,
so we entered by the "side" entrance I had discovered yesterday. We were
surprised when it was 8:40 (games were scheduled to start in 5 minutes)
and very few people showed. Samer asked me to look into Logan Hall and
see if people were waiting there for a morning meeting. I left to do it,
thinking of how funny that would have been.
The truth was even better. When I went to the "main" doors to
Williams, practically everyone was waiting outside for them to be
opened. There were a few policemen and custodial people, too, trying
every key they had. Apparently, no one had bothered to say, "Maybe
there's another entrance." Heh heh heh.
While helping to set up for Day Two, we learned that Kieran's
aunt had been in a serious car wreck and that Kieran rushed home to be
with her family. I sympathize and wish to pass on my sympathies to her
family as well. Also, Matt decided he had had enough yesterday and
didn't show up for Sunday's play. Punk. Anyhow, that meant that Waichi
and I were what was left of the team known as Some Assembly Required,
which /really/ lived up to its name.
Game 13: This game was against Quizbollah, featuring Guy and Carol
Jordan, Joon Pahk, and Ed Cohn. The packet was by the Samer's Evil Twin
team, not that it mattered. I wasn't awake yet, and while Waichi carried
me with his 0/4/0 performance, it was nowhere near enough. Our bid to be
Chaminade to their Virginia failed. Highlight was our team getting a
poetry bonus and scoring ten on it. This was a highlight because on the
third part, Joon was visibly knowledgeable with the answer and we were
clueless. Naturally, I designated Joon. It didn't count. Darn.
RESULT: Loss, 405-75.
Game 14: This game got off to a slow start. The reason was that no
moderator was assigned to the room. Tom Chuck left the war room to
moderate the game, for which we are indeed thankful. It was us against
Chicks Dig the Power Tossup (Nike ad thing), which had John Nam, Arthur
J. Fleming, Esquire, and Ezequiel Berdichevsky. (NOTE: I doubt Art's
middle initial is J, but it fits the best.) Questions were by
Gundroppers, not that it mattered. The team went 0/3/1 and divided labor
in a quirky way (I had the "0/3" part, and Waichi had the "/1" part).
Highlight was a tossup beginning "It crossed 18 mountain ranges and 24
rivers" (or vice versa), on which John Nam buzzed and powered with, as he
put it, "The Long F***ing March". Beautiful. I used the strategy of
only getting questions right if they were negged on first, a strategy
that obviously failed. RESULT: Loss, 320-55.
Around this time, all hell broke loose in another game.
Quizbollah and Smooth Operators were playing a close match, one which was
unofficially a 10 point game but had enough points in protest to swing
the outcome. This tied things up for a while.
Then came our packet bye. I volunteered to read for a room, and
was placed in the match featuring World's Strongest Men (the
aforementioned Doug O'Neal along with Ilene Morgan, Adam Schaible, and
Dale Hinote) versus Three Generations. It was a fun little match, and
the teams seemed to enjoy it. Three Generations went 3/7/2 and won,
255-95. Highlight was Jason Arvey executing the Power Rebound (degree of
difficulty 2.3). General reactions seemed to be that the more wins a
team had, the worse they thought the round. Unfortunately, my reading
duties prevented me from seeing, or hearing, the Nam vs. Wang showdown.
Eh. I heard everything from "Finally, a packet with stuff I knew" to
"Get ready to be lynched after the tournament".
Game 15: We played this game on the Virginia Tech packet. Our opponents
were Expletive Deleted (not their original name), consisting of Andy
Wang, Todd Gregory, and Kyle Atwood. Wang was only getting 2 negs per
game, which surprised me, and was just barely ahead of a teammate in the
neg department, which really surprised me. Chuck was again moderator.
Wang and his crew managed only three negs and were actually playing well,
not that this surprised me. Our team went 1/6/2 (I was 0/4/1, Waichi
1/2/1). The game turned on the SportsCentury non-human bonus, which
their team got a slam-dunk 30 on. Yuck. RESULT: Loss, 175-115.
I was still smarting over the horses bonus being in their and
told Goodman as much as we passed. He responded, "You know, you should
spend less time posting to the list and more time studying." Yeah,
that's right, Dave, I should. After all, why should I waste my time
being social or playing in the gym when I can put every ounce of energy
into making myself better at something which will not help me graduate,
earn a living, or contribute to society? And we all know what a social
benefit this is, based on the droves of people who care about it!
Especially the multitude of women who go to things like this! I would
really love to study quizbowl non-stop, but I have classes. And class,
for that matter. And a life, while we're on the subject. Where was I?
Oh yeah. Same to you, Goodman. AND the horse you rode in on.
Next was another bye while Rob Knobel's packet was being read.
Cindy was moderating in the room where I scorekept. It was once again
Three Generations, this time against Vish 'n' Chips. Despite a
miscommunication on one of the questions (which was my fault, and I
apologized after the match to those affected), things went very well,
with the teams combining for 19 of 20 tossups. Vish's team won by over 100.
Game 16: This game featured World's Strongest Men on a packet written by
the way-too-aforementioned Dave team. Going into the match, both teams
expected questions to be too tough. They weren't, thankfully, but the
gratuitous bonus leadins were annoying ("David Hilbert thought he was a
bad-ass for posing 23 problems..." is NOT the way to start a question).
However, in this game I played like I was in another dimension, going
1/5/0 to couple with Waichi's 1/2/2. We pulled it out on the final
bonus, which dealt with tennis players from media sound bites and other
facts. Other than that, things were pretty much what you'd expect,
namely a lot of attitude. I did, however, nail a question after two
words, which was sweet. RESULT: Win, 165-160.
Lunchtime. We headed to Mad Mex's, where we ran into Ross's
team. The food wasn't as spicy as I had expected, and we had plenty of
time for lunch. Other teams may not have.
Game 17: This game was played on the Brotherhood's packet. Our opponents
were the Psychic Scully Network, consisting of Steve Lawrie, David Sachs,
David Madden, and Laura Lee. To put it bluntly, we were toast. Our team
went an abysmal 1/1/3, doing the same quirky split we did against Nam's
crew. The match just plain wasn't pretty. RESULT: Loss, 200-20.
So, we had finished the prelims 2-15, guaranteeing we would be in
the last playoff bracket. While waiting for stuff to be compiled, I
talked to the Quizbollah and Happiness teams, and we were all yucking it
up in a way. I spent much of the time listening. One of the things they
were joking about was if it would be funny if two teams intentionally
tied a playoff match. How they would go about doing this brought much of
the laughter ("That's George Washington. No, wait, it's Thomas Mann!
Oh, damn!").
Then the playoffs finally began. We were odd team out first
match and watched Knobel Spice and World's Strongest Men compete.
Strongest Men won the match, meaning we would have to take both games to
move up to 16th and could not be in outright last place. Whew.
Game 18: Our first playoff opponent was Knobel Spice. Not much to
report, other than the game was very close. I got all the buzzes on
tossups, going 0/5/1. The one neg was a classic brian cramp where
instead of powering Ken Kesey, I blurted out Kasey Kasem. My punishment
was to self-inflict five cranial shots with the nearest wall. It was one
of the finalists for the Best Wrong Answer award. We were saved by our
opponents' three consecutive bagels on bonuses. RESULT: Win, 105-90.
Game 19: Now, we faced World's Strongest Men. We got off to a flying
start, getting the first four tossups to dart out 95-0. However, they
pulled within 15 after question 8. Two straight negs by them gave us a
115-70 lead at the half. They got a 10 and 20, then the two teams
exchanged 10 and 10s. At this point, their team unraveled, committing
three negs in four questions which sealed their fate. Our team went
0/9/1, with Waichi going 0/3/1 and myself going postal on Strongest Men
for the second time that day with an 0/6/0 performance. RESULT: Win,
180-145.
After the match, we were herded into one of the rooms for an
awards ceremony. I talked to Ryan during the waiting time, and he
informed me that his team and Smooth Operators played to a stunning
(-40)-(-40) tie in the last match. They decided beforehand to shape the
outcome of their meaningless game ("Throw is such a dirty word!") and for
originality stopped at -40 ("Minus 50 is just cliche").
Then, the awards. There should have been a final match between
Quizbollah and Three Boys and a Goy, but half of Quizbollah left to catch
a plane. Rather than have the other half play the final, the PE5 staff
awarded the co-championship. Applause.
Awards were also given for best answers. Edmund Schleussel of
the Brotherhood got best power for scoring 15 on "smegma" (A substance
which you're better off not knowing the identity of). Third place in
best wrong answers went to Brown woman Fran Bigman, who said "Branch
Davidians" when the answer was "The Cult of Pythagoras". Second place,
and the sentimental choice for first, went to Roger Craig of Happiness,
who said "breast implant" when the real answer was "public key
cryptography". The best wrong answer in the eyes of the tournament,
however, went to Tim Young, who negged on the Twinkie question with
"Furby" (although I don't think that passed the Turing test either).
After that, we left.
All in all, this was a much better experience than the Masters
tournament of two weeks prior. The main reason is that the questions
were more gettable and often of better length, meaning that you weren't
faced with stretched of six-liners that were read to the end.
Admittedly, the rounds varied in difficulty, but I suppose that is to be
expected in a submission tournament. Most importantly, the tournament
promised a certain level of scoring and delivered -- our games involved
at least one team that was at the low end of the pool (us) and still
averaged 343 ppg. I imagine it was higher for the overall average.
In the end, our team wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst
either. We were #16 with a bullet, pulling a double Stonybrook as
Maryland would say. We also came reasonably close in several other
games, and the levity of the atmosphere helped things immensely. I know
I'll be back. And hopefully, my packet will be better.
Andy Goss
Publicist, Duke University Academic Team
Editor-in-Chief, Quiz Bowl Media Guide
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From
[email protected] Mon Aug 16 14:54:28 1999 -0400
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Date: Mon, 16 Aug 1999 13:58:59 -0400 (EDT)
From: Josh the Obscure <
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Subject: QB: How Andy spent his weekend... (AKA Are You Ready to Laugh?)
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First, a kudo to the team that played as Samer's Evil Twin. That is still
one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Second, a little note -- according to Maryland's Official Lexicon, "to
Stonybrook" is to beat one team 3 times in a tournament, and have those 3
wins as your only victories. Alas, pitiful as Andy's team performed, they
didn't pull off the Stonybrook. And I would know, as a member of that
1997 NAQT Maryland C team.
Third -- wow. That post was the most time consuming thing that anyone has
ever posted to the list. Did anyone actually read the whole thing? I
know I just skimmed for things to make fun of and to see how bad he lost.
Fourth -- lay off of Goodman. If you complain about the hardness of
questions, you should study. If you write 30 page accounts of your
weekend at a quiz tournament, you shouldn't complain about studying taking
up your "social time."
Fifth -- if anyone complains about this being private and not deserving of
going on the list (and I mean anyone), please direct your complaints to
that brick wall over there.
Josh Allen
[email protected]
www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/4670
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Date: Mon, 16 Aug 1999 22:37:38 -0400 (EDT)
From: Wai Chi Chan <
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Subject: Re: QB: How Andy spent his weekend... (AKA Are You Ready to
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To Josh Allen:
Whether or not your post deserved to be on the QB mailing list, you showed
the same lack of tact as Andy. I am left wondering if you have any human
decency. Your post appeared, mostly, to excoriate and insult Andy rather
than to intelligently challenge his post or its blatantly inappropiate
sections. Using a public forum, such as the QB mailing list, to purposely
embarrass another person is shameful.
When deeming "Andy's team" pitiful, you not only insulted Andy but also
me, Kieran, and Matt. I did not appreciate this attack, but I was not
surprise. From the last two years that I have played quizbowl, I have
learned to dislike most of the people associated with MAQT - though, that
was not my initial plan. MAQT is apparently full of mean, spiteful people
who make a game like quizbowl totally unpleasent. For the last two years,
NYU has not attended any tournaments operated by MAQT, and as its current
president, I'm sure that we won't this year or next year either.
-Wai Chi
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